FFT

This made me laugh very hard, b/c it's true... must've been written by a resident who was overworked and bitter that day... I can only hope that no resident thinks the same of me...

Any Resident's Story

11:14 I can’t wait until I’m on staff. I’m gonna leave my watch at home every day. Maybe I’ll just forget how to tell time altogether.

11:20 Okay, he should be here any minute now. No apology, of course. Not even an explanation. Is there an explanation? Stuck in traffic? Attacked by badgers? Trapped under something heavy, like his ego? Maybe he’s looking after some really sick patient somewhere. Really sick, unlike his patients here, who are apparently only sorta sick and not really worth his time. Maybe someone’s dying somewhere.

11:27 There’d better be somebody dying. Only excuse I can think of for being 27 minutes late.

11:31 There’s nobody dying anywhere. Well, dying of iatrogenic boredom, maybe. I wonder who the victim is. Some poor patient? Another resident? Maybe it’s some other staff jerk, who’s seriously reconsidering ever asking for a curbside consult again.

11:36 I’d leave and try to get something useful done, but the second I do he’ll turn up and blow a gasket because I’m not here waiting for him with his slippers in my mouth. Should I page him? No, he hates being paged. Whenever I page him he’s in the middle of something important, like curing cancer or inventing oxygen or defibrillating the Pope.

11:41 Why am I even here? I’ve forgotten everything I was going to talk to him about. Dammit! Aww, it doesn’t matter, anyway. He never wants to hear anything I have to say. Vitals? Bah! Meds? Phooey! Has the patient recently eaten nectarines? That’s what he’ll want to know. Has the patient ever been in a marching band? Has the patient now, or has the patient ever been, in possession of a humidor?

11:43 Oh, here he comes now. You’d think he was on vacation, the way he’s meandering down the hall. Hey, wait a second… he’s got a coffee! He’s been at Tim’s for God’s sake! That’s it. He’s really gonna get it now. I’m gonna take a piece outta him. Here I am waiting to talk to him about his patients, and he’s getting a double-double and a muffin! I’m gonna…

11:46 I really shoulda let him have it.

12:02 Well, I guess I won’t be getting to that lunchtime teaching session. This is plenty educational, though. Listening to him go on about how residents today don’t know how to do a physical exam is certainly going to make me a better doctor. I bet he knows of a study that says so.

12:08 Shut up. Please shut up. I’ll pay you one hundred dollars to shut up. Seriously. Stop talking now.

12:14 Randomize this, you $%&@!
-Paul Moorehead

Skills, or lack thereof

One of the curious skills that I've never learned to acquire is how to enter a car without getting either myself, or my car interior, wet when it is raining outside. Certainly, I can open the back door and drop my stuff inside without getting it wet, but for me to get into the car without either my umbrella getting my car interior all wet, or me getting into the car wet... I think it's a skill beyond my means. If anyone has any suggestions or lesson plans, I'd greatly appreciate it.

India IV

Besides the filth and the poverty and the utter contrast between rich and poor in this country, I saw something else that was really sad by the side of the road.... out by Mathurpa lay three black bears and several monkeys chained up. The bears had nose rings and metal muzzles, which probably were burning their little noses in the heat... they all lay there completely lethargic and sad... apparently in India (as in many other countries), they kidnap these animals and beat them into submission so they can perform for money... apparently, they take these poor Himalayan bears and forest monkeys and force them to 'dance' in the dense Indian summer heat for tourists (Shame on us!!) and locals. I unfortunately didn't get an opportunity to take a picture of these poor animals.

India III

I think I haven't really been that much more specific about stuff that I've experienced here in this country yet, b/c I haven't really had enough time to process it and distill it down into a nice sound bite, or a silly story. I've travelling from the southern tip of India, up the eastern coast, and up to the north-eastern most part of the country. We are heading over to the western side this afternoon (which is why I'm trying to catch up on this blog; I'm in the Kolkata airport, waiting for a plane) and up to the Taj Mahal (because what trip to India would be complete without a trip there??), the first completely touristy thing that we've done since we've gotten here.
I have been to Mother Teresa's place here, and have visited her tomb. Also, the Sisters there gave me some amulet or something blessed by Mother which is supposed to heal stuff, or something... helpful when members of the group fall ill, I suppose... I could just wave the amulet over them until they get better... :P

Top ten sayings -revised

The Top Ten Things We've Been Saying on this Trip:
1. Daniel Wang: Boooooooo!!!!!!
2. D.W.T.... Holy cow, that was so D.W.T.... and other variations...
3. There were two Xs.... Hey! A Talking X!
4. I HATE the Ladies' line!!!!
5. Poe-tay-toe....
6. Whoa! That's a cutie-patootie!
7. Is it a squatty-potty, or a normal one? A bi-toilet??? Don't forget to roll up your pants...
8. Um... her bum's wet... Ummmm... her bum's naked... I don't think that's right...
9. We have to wait -how long- before our flight? Again? Is there cake? Wanna play hangman? Let's make monkeys!
10. Hack hack cough cough.... ewwwww... my nose is blowing black....

I've heard the angels sing...

... and I've been to a small piece of heaven on earth. I've just left the state of Mizoram, wayyyy in the north east corner of India, separated from the bulk of the country by Bangladesh, in fact. A country that can pinpoint exactly when God came to them: January 11th, 1894, by way of two Welsh missionaries that landed on one of their riverbanks that day. The 'tribal peoples' of Mizoram (which is how the Indians see them; they spent many years fighting the Indians for independence, and finally conceded to being one of their states, which has not been to their favour - being so geographically isolated, as well as previously having been a rebel state, as well as being adamantly Christian amidst a government that is technically secular, but is trying very hard to become hard-line Hindu, has led to them being somewhat neglected and oppressed in this country) were previously head-hunters and fierce warriors, and are now the most Christianized state in the world. They send the most missionaries out per capita in the world. In stark contrast to the rest of India, their streets are clean, there are no beggars, no homeless, no orphans or widows left alone. The community ensures that all are fed and cared for.
And they sing like angels. Actually, one curious fact about the Mizos is that their culture is drenched in music. There is actually a recording studio every block or so in the capital, and lots of people record their own CDs and even their own videos! They have a whole channel on TV which just plays Mizo music videos 24 hours a day which is really cool! Most of the music is written for, and about, God, and it's gorgeous.
This morning, we visted an orphanage where many Burmese babies are brought across the mountains and left at their doorstep. These 386 children sang for us. Please note: "Above all... like a rose" is not my most favorite song, but it was the first time in a long while that singing has brought me to tears. It was indeed like listening to angels. I know people have got it on videotape, and I'm sure I will end up with a DVD version, but I don't think it will end up being able to transmit it in quite the same manner...

India II

So now we've been here for a good week or so....
About Delirious?... they were apparently in Hyderabad doing a free concert, so we grabbed a tuk-tuk and rode over to the park where they were supposed to be playing. There was a very cool Hindi Christian band, and the worship team of the speaker (apparently some tour of Joyce Meyer - who I'd never heard of before- and Delirious?), but no Delirous?.... oh well, it was still a really cool time...

Daniel Wang

One of the most common sayings we've been using since we've gotten here is: "Daniel Wang: Boooooo" :) .... whenever flights get delayed, or we get all sweaty and gross, or when we think we got ripped off in the market, or just whenever we feel like it. I suppose he'd would have been one of the last people we'd talk about most while over here, but there you go.... legend in his own mind.... :)

FFT

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page....
-- St. Augustine

India

I think I will have much to say on this later. We have been here three days already, and I have many thoughts jumbled in my head.
However, briefly (this will be re-edited later): We went to a Delirious? concert here...

Sri Lanka

Again, another country that we spent a scant 24 hours-ish in. We actually spent our day driving along the southern coastline to go visit Operation Mobilization's ship that was docked at the southern end of the country. We spent several hours driving by kilometre after kilometre of tsunami devastation. It's hard to describe the sight. Certainly, knocked down buildings and such are fairly commonplace, but to watch for miles of buildings that are (still) gone, and, in their place, a few houses here, many make-shift tents and wooden shacks there, is another thing entirely. To see forests of palm trees with their branches flailing backwards, away from the shoreline, single flip-flops lying in the sand, boats in broken pieces several metres from the beach.... What I found most striking though, was the overgrowth. Morning glories have taken over much of the ground cover since then, as many people have not been able to afford to rebuild again....
Shamefully, we did make a "tour stop" to take pictures of the destruction, and I spent a whole roll on it. I don't think words or pictures are adequate though, to communicate it all....

Thailand

Well, we only spent about 24 hours in the country, and none of it in Bangkok, except to transfer flights. I don't think my posts are going to be very articulate today; I may re-edit them later when I'm a little less sleepy... However, we did go to this elephant farm in northern Thailand... it's not so much a farm as it is a bit of a circus. It's where the 'world-famous' elephant paintings come from. And, admittedly, Asian elephants are very cute. Basically, a whole freaking herd of elephants live here, entertaining tourists with their antics and their paintings, and you can ride them and admire the babies, etc. VERY CUTE. But also, very sad. Some of the younger elephants (presumably still under training) were chained around the neck and foot, I suppose, to keep them from stamping on people. It is very strange and humiliating, being entertained by slaves, and yet enjoying it... I wonder if this is how other cultures allowed themselves to enslave others... I also wonder at how much these beasts had to be subjugated when they were younger to forget that they have incredible power and beautiful potential for wildness....
PS. Didn't eat pad thai here. Will have to return.

Mr. Fruit

This may sound really strange to folks, and some of you may think I'm on drugs or something, but we've been smuggling fruit across country borders and through airports. We've successfully gotten Mr. Orange through HK, Thailand and Sri Lanka, but in a fit of hunger desperation, ate him. We've also gone through Mr. Banana, but he didn't last very long. Currently, we've got Son of Orange with us. I think we've deluded ourselves to think we're doing something vaguely illegal by smuggling produce across borders... :P

Hong Kong

I know many of you have been here before, and lots of people were even raised here, so I'm not sure what the point of my impressions would be, as I'm sure there are many who can give much more insight to the city than I. (Besides the fact that I have barely been here 24 hours, and I'm already on my way again).
But a few observations: Work starts late, and ends late. Like some nation-wide Chinese time, or something. Oddly, coming into the city at 9am, I was struck by the entire lack of pedestrian or vehicular traffic. Apparently, things don't really start getting busy around here till at least 11am, and then keep going till the wee hours of the morning....
Also, despite all the glitz and glamour here (of which there is much: how many Burberrys does a city need, anyways? Though I have been equally as guilty, dragging everyone to Shanghai Tang to shop :P ), I sense a world-weariness here. Certainly, there have been political and economic issues surrounding this area for a while, perhaps not on a 'human devastation' scale, but ??perhaps because of all the consumerism, or relative wealth??, I do sense a fatigue from that.... ??perhaps it is a vague realization of the lack of satisfaction from speed and haste, or from things?? I can't quite grasp that... I just sense that the whole city almost sighs from its weariness... or maybe I'm just blowing out of my ear, but at least, that's what I sense when I am here...
Onto Thailand, and, if I'm lucky, the best pad thai ever...

FFT II

Vampire

CBC, lytes, glucose, BUN, creatinine
INR/PTT, liver function tests,
cultures X 2,
toxicology screen,
calcium, magnesium, TSH,
cardiac enzymes,
blood gases.
Stat please on Mr. Whatsisname in stretcher 5.

After all the blood I've sucked from him
you'd think I'd have a better grip on his soul.

--Gwynedd Pickett

Redemption? Recovery? Recividism?

I've been thinking about why there is such a taboo around the notion of suicide, that it is the only act beyond all sense of redemption. A patient recently came to me, telling me he had tried several times this week to die unsuccessfully, and if I would not help him, no one could. Grabbing me by the shoulders and looking me in the eye, he stated that if he could not get help, he would walk out and jump off a building. And I believed him.
But I wonder why such things are looked upon as mental instability. People point out that Judas the traitor hung himself after he had performed the 'sin of sins' by betraying the Son of God, and that is why (simplistically, I think) suicide is wrong. However, Aristotle poisoned himself surrounded by his followers at the end of his life, and no one rejects his writings out of hand because of it.
I am not so sure why we single out Judas as the ultimate of traitors. It's written that "all of [the disciples] will betray [Jesus]", and all of them, indeed, did flee and betray Him. However, I also note that Judas was the only one noted to have tried to make things right without being asked. He was the one, trying to beg for His life, returning the money, proclaiming that he was wrong. Peter, on the other hand, just stands around and cries when he realizes that he's in the wrong, and doesn't actually ever apologize for his betrayal. (Yes, yes, I heard the interjectors saying, "But he was too ashamed to actually apologize; he needed Jesus to bring him back into fellowship with Him, just as we need Him to initiate fellowship with us") However, I also note that Judas was the only one to feel enough anguish at his betrayal to -believe- that he was beyond redemption, and so ended his life. I know it is possible to feel enough sorrow, enough pain, to want to bring it to an end, and I wonder if Judas, of all the disciples, was the only one to understand the depth of their betrayal.
I think there is still room for redemption for Judas, -despite- his suicide, as there is for all of us, traitors and betrayors all. It -is- only through death that we can walk into life again, so I can only look to Judas and wonder....

Merry Christmas!

So I was thinking about some of the reasons why I appreciate my parents, and a few of them revolve around Christmas. Some of these things, I think, have been quite formative in how and why I think about certain things. I was chatting with a friend of mine, and he reminded me of this while we were talking about when/where we were having Christmas dinner this year. Most years for almost as long as I can remember, my folks have always invited people who were not family to eat with us and our family. Certainly, we don't eat all Norman Rockwell style; most of the time, we eat standing around the kitchen island, but that's besides the point. We've had foreign students, recent immigrants and single parents, both Christian and not, sit at various times around our 'table' for Christmas (admittedly also, most of the time, they're exclusively Korean people, but that's also besides the point). I think that is something that I profoundly respect about my folks. Their table has always remained open to people who had nowhere else to go for Christmas. We didn't have a turkey, nor any cranberry sauce this year (sadly), but I think this was the first time that I really saw the diversity around our table. And I think that makes up for any lack of cranberry sauce and turkey... Merry Christmas to you all... I hope you had a lovely one....

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag...

I am usually struck with the prevalence and profundity of depression, in all its forms. Sometimes I feel like these walking wounded are abnormally attracted to me, sensing in me some kinship or ability to walk alongside them on their descent to hell. I know that this was long-debated many moons ago about 'how tied up' in patients we get, but still... One of my preceptors once said that you end up with the practice you deserve. Some, I suppose, end up with the personalities, the anxious, the entitled, the various psychosomatisms, which would certainly not be my desire. I am not sure if the profoundly depressed are my particular little birds that I am to protect... Perhaps the ensuing folie a deux produces a vortex that helps shoot them out of the tornado, while I'm left spinning around in the dregs that are left...

Food for Thought (FFT) I

"I don't think you can live with the flat, metallic lakes, the brooding firs and pines, and the great expanses of grey rock that stretch all the way from Yellowknife to Labrador, with the naked birches and the rattling aspens, with the ghostly call of the loon and the haunting cry of the wolf, without being a very special kind of person." -- Pierre Berton

About snow tires

So I've successfully driven back out to the countryside last night, despite bad snow squalls and white-out conditions on several of the roads along the way; it took me an extra hour to get up there than it usually would b/c of this, with several rumblings of the roadsides when I swerved over the sides....
Which brings me to the snow tire issue; I know a few people have suggested that I get some for safety's sake. However, I did manage to get by 2.5 winters in Ottawa without them. Also, I'm looking at it from the perspective of probability; I get the feeling that my car, in general, being forced into going head-to-head with a truck/side rail/SUV/compact sedan/mini van, will likely lose. I thus suspect that if I was in a serious enough accident, I would probably die. Which, honestly, I think is better than being left quadriplegic. Which, after having seen many patients (today included) who have been left in various severe levels of disability d/t motor vehicle crashes, is not really my inclination. I figure, if I get snow tires, it just increases the chances that I would survive a crash. Not my inclination. "It's better to burn out than to fade away" states Tom Petty. I'd be inclined to agree; I think I'd rather smash up spectacularly than be partially crumpled.
On another note: I'm staying at this lovely little farm house B&B, so I just thought I would put a little advertising plug in for them: http://www.cedarbraeinn.ca/ . The hosts are lovely people, and it's a beautiful piece of property (though, admittedly, it's under a heck of a lot of snow right now, so I dunno what it looks like when it's all not snowy). It's nice to look out the window and just see trees and snow-covered fields out to the horizon....