I find myself in a very ungrateful position, but it really must be said: I am getting quite weary of being told how amazing and/or incredible I am. Now, before you think that I'm that narcissistic that this is not enough for me, or something, there are a couple of components to this complaint.
One, there are a terribly large lot of women that I think are really quite amazing in their own rights. Women who do incredibly generous, skillful, talented things. I don't really think that I'm much better than many other women that I know of. I think, actually, that there are lots of other more fantastic things that other women I know are involved in and do - from freeing trafficked girls, to ministering to prostitutes, to organizing international conferences, to doing research, to speaking out against injustice in all its forms, to publicly role model for change, to changing policies, hearts and minds every day. That's amazing.
Second, I'm not sure that what I do is particularly amazing, per se, or if it's actually normal. We've been given finite amounts of time in this life, and we have been called to be ambassadors for Christ, so how does this excuse us to sit in our cubicles all day, go home to make supper and then sit around and watch TV? We have all been called to be and do so, so, so much more than this, such that, most of what I do, I feel, is not even maximizing the opportunity or the choice of what I am able to do in this world. We have all been given so very much, that wasting one's life on the trivial, the mundane, or the useless just seems, well, pathetic and wasteful.
Third, the other big issue is that I have only ever heard this from the mouths of other women. I have yet to hear that kind of validation regularly from men. I hear it quite a lot from women, over and over and over again. I am deeply appreciative, but I think women inherently recognize and validate worth when they see it, and attempt to dignify it by elevating it when it is needed. It would be nice to hear that kind of validation from the other side, as it's hard to know: Is it because I really don't deserve the accolades at all, or it's not recognizable and thus doesn't deserve validation, or it would just be too darn hard for men to actually dignify the women amongst them?
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
On a completely different note
I'm realizing there are a scant few people that I know are regular readers of this blog. However, I do note that there are quite a few regular perusers, but I have no idea who they are, and many of them are right within my area code!
Please do drop a line, and let me know if you're reading - it's awfully encouraging to know that someone's paying attention out there!
Please do drop a line, and let me know if you're reading - it's awfully encouraging to know that someone's paying attention out there!
Bring Food Home
I haven't had much to write on, or at least anything that I'd be willing to post in public, for the last little while. However, I thought I'd muse on a very inspiring conference that happened two weeks ago now. Farmers, food activists, community advocates and others came together to talk about food in a new way. I think there was some real momentum there from everyone attending.
Since then, I've read in several newspapers of the rather depressing rightward-leanings that Canadians are heading to (which always happens whenever there's an economic recession - don't get me started on right-wing economical policies, 'cause that will just get me really upset), and the inevitable 'bubble' that's about to burst of the local foods/local economies movement.
However, it does point out to me the lack of broad-based appeal that's inherent in many social justice movements. One of the discussion groups I was participating in was the very real issue of racial diversity (or lack thereof).
Inevitably, the reality is that the majority of farmers in this country are white. There are many immigrants who wish to farm, but, due to their lack of capital, cannot invest in farmland (who can? Even young farmers I know can only dream of owning their own farm, mainly because of heartless, greedy developers and inane, thoughtless politicians) to pursue their dream of farming. Also, many ethnicities in the city participate in urban agriculture, though they would never label it as such, and to bring them to the table to broaden the scope of how food reaches us and our plates, would be awesome. There's also the reality that many of the people participating in social justice movements are those people who have already secured their wealth and their positions in society, or they are the children of those very same.
There's also the very real, and very scary, trend that second generational people move to the suburbs. They buy big homes. They buy big cars. They live the big life, far from soil, and land, and sky, and air. They live disconnected from the reality of good, strong earth, and live wired to concrete and fibre-optic lines.
As I always say, the biggest hurdle to overcome is this one. The reason why immigrants come here is so that their children will have big houses and big money and big comforts. "Besides, if I wanted to live in high-density housing, grow my own food and ride my bicycle everywhere, I would've stayed in my village in (fill in the blank country here)".
But this is the problem: those countries developed high-intensity networks to house, feed and transport people out of necessity. We are talking about doing that, not out of necessity, but to prepare for the inevitable reality that we will eventually have to. Until people of my socio-economic demographic start realizing that we are part of the problem, we won't participate in the solutions...
Since then, I've read in several newspapers of the rather depressing rightward-leanings that Canadians are heading to (which always happens whenever there's an economic recession - don't get me started on right-wing economical policies, 'cause that will just get me really upset), and the inevitable 'bubble' that's about to burst of the local foods/local economies movement.
However, it does point out to me the lack of broad-based appeal that's inherent in many social justice movements. One of the discussion groups I was participating in was the very real issue of racial diversity (or lack thereof).
Inevitably, the reality is that the majority of farmers in this country are white. There are many immigrants who wish to farm, but, due to their lack of capital, cannot invest in farmland (who can? Even young farmers I know can only dream of owning their own farm, mainly because of heartless, greedy developers and inane, thoughtless politicians) to pursue their dream of farming. Also, many ethnicities in the city participate in urban agriculture, though they would never label it as such, and to bring them to the table to broaden the scope of how food reaches us and our plates, would be awesome. There's also the reality that many of the people participating in social justice movements are those people who have already secured their wealth and their positions in society, or they are the children of those very same.
There's also the very real, and very scary, trend that second generational people move to the suburbs. They buy big homes. They buy big cars. They live the big life, far from soil, and land, and sky, and air. They live disconnected from the reality of good, strong earth, and live wired to concrete and fibre-optic lines.
As I always say, the biggest hurdle to overcome is this one. The reason why immigrants come here is so that their children will have big houses and big money and big comforts. "Besides, if I wanted to live in high-density housing, grow my own food and ride my bicycle everywhere, I would've stayed in my village in (fill in the blank country here)".
But this is the problem: those countries developed high-intensity networks to house, feed and transport people out of necessity. We are talking about doing that, not out of necessity, but to prepare for the inevitable reality that we will eventually have to. Until people of my socio-economic demographic start realizing that we are part of the problem, we won't participate in the solutions...
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Going through open doors
This whole concept of God "opening doors" is not very clear to me. I think sometimes it's a fallacy, really - just because everything happens to be going your way doesn't necessarily mean that it's the right way to go. I mean, broad is the path that leads to deception and all.
I find myself talking with the same vocabulary of looking to see if 'barriers fall' or 'doors open' when looking for things that are 'meant to be' or 'in God's will'. However, I don't necessarily think it's as easy as that. If life was super easy, and all one had to do was go along the path of least resistance, then shouldn't life be way less complicated than it really is? It almost sounds zen or new age-y when you talk that way, about following the path of least resistance, but for some reason, we talk the same reasoning, but use different semantics. Strange.
That being said, I too, over the past few days had been looking for 'doors to open' in order to follow what I really wanted to do. Seven, in fact. And, each of them had given way, one by one, over the short span of 36 hours, allowing me to be free to go. Go where? I'll report on that later...
I find myself talking with the same vocabulary of looking to see if 'barriers fall' or 'doors open' when looking for things that are 'meant to be' or 'in God's will'. However, I don't necessarily think it's as easy as that. If life was super easy, and all one had to do was go along the path of least resistance, then shouldn't life be way less complicated than it really is? It almost sounds zen or new age-y when you talk that way, about following the path of least resistance, but for some reason, we talk the same reasoning, but use different semantics. Strange.
That being said, I too, over the past few days had been looking for 'doors to open' in order to follow what I really wanted to do. Seven, in fact. And, each of them had given way, one by one, over the short span of 36 hours, allowing me to be free to go. Go where? I'll report on that later...
Friday, February 26, 2010
Food, glorious food...
This has been/will be a very busy Food season for me. Last week was the annual COG-Toronto conference, with me getting some fan-girl photos with Michael Schmidt and Percy Schmeiser, some of the most famous farmers we have in this country (hee hee, with me getting all giggly and groupie - one friend noted I'm the only person they know that wants my picture taken with farmers instead of rock stars, Bono excepted). A lot of emphasis on the evil of GMOs, of which I am slightly on the agnostic fence about, but a good conference overall. Followed by Seedy Sunday, which for me, always indicates the first sign of spring - looking forward to getting out and working the 'garden' again!
Last night, FoodShare kicked off its first ever, inaugural fundraiser, which was so lovely, and the energy was just awesome. I am so indebted to the generosity of the chefs in this city and our staff, who brought together an amazing assortment of delicacies and delights all under one roof! And then, to cap it all off, possibly one of the biggest Ontario food security conferences coming next week (yay! with more fan-girl photos to come!)!.
Certainly, it's been a lot of food, and a lot of fun... tomorrow is going to be rather tame, with me cooking dinner for a few good friends at their house, in comparison...
Last night, FoodShare kicked off its first ever, inaugural fundraiser, which was so lovely, and the energy was just awesome. I am so indebted to the generosity of the chefs in this city and our staff, who brought together an amazing assortment of delicacies and delights all under one roof! And then, to cap it all off, possibly one of the biggest Ontario food security conferences coming next week (yay! with more fan-girl photos to come!)!.
Certainly, it's been a lot of food, and a lot of fun... tomorrow is going to be rather tame, with me cooking dinner for a few good friends at their house, in comparison...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Seriously? I'm not that wise.
It's not often that I get complimented on things. Not that I particularly mind, or am looking for validation; it's just one of those things. However, I received one of the best compliments ever the other night. I had some folk from church over for supper, and one guy was stunned to find out that I work as a doctor.
"Really?" he said, "I had always thought you were a theologian, studying to be a pastor, or at least a theology student!"
That's awesome! He had said he had just assumed that because of the way I talked and discussed things at church. He was then surprised to hear I had never been to Bible college, never been to seminary, and never taken any theological courses at all, which impressed him all the more.
I'm flattered (not that he meant it at all to be a flatterer). It's not quite being told that I clearly bear the fruit of the Spirit, and it could be understood the wrong way, in that I am so puffed up with knowledge, that I have no practical application of my faith. However, I definitely take it on the positive note, as that is very humbling to think someone thought I was wise enough to be a theologian. The indirect compliment on my brain was greatly appreciated; currently, he's sitting as "one of my favorite people" on the imaginary list of "favorite people" that I keep... :P
"Really?" he said, "I had always thought you were a theologian, studying to be a pastor, or at least a theology student!"
That's awesome! He had said he had just assumed that because of the way I talked and discussed things at church. He was then surprised to hear I had never been to Bible college, never been to seminary, and never taken any theological courses at all, which impressed him all the more.
I'm flattered (not that he meant it at all to be a flatterer). It's not quite being told that I clearly bear the fruit of the Spirit, and it could be understood the wrong way, in that I am so puffed up with knowledge, that I have no practical application of my faith. However, I definitely take it on the positive note, as that is very humbling to think someone thought I was wise enough to be a theologian. The indirect compliment on my brain was greatly appreciated; currently, he's sitting as "one of my favorite people" on the imaginary list of "favorite people" that I keep... :P
Sunday, February 07, 2010
FFT
This is really for my own interest, as it had been shared with me in a talk many years ago. I realize, as one develops more and more of a public voice, this becomes increasingly important. Even without forays into the public domain, these are still things to consider, especially as all of our private lives, whether we like it or not, become more exposed to the public domain... Perhaps philandering celebrities also should take these little tests into consideration as well...
To justify any action, one needs to consider:
1. Red-faced test: Would you be embarassed if others knew what you did?
2. Gold fish bowl test: Could you justify your actions if they became public knowledge?
3. Aristotle's test: Would you act the same in other similar cases?
4. Insomnia test: Can you sleep soundly at night with your decision?
5. Mother test: Would you act the same if it was your mom?
To justify any action, one needs to consider:
1. Red-faced test: Would you be embarassed if others knew what you did?
2. Gold fish bowl test: Could you justify your actions if they became public knowledge?
3. Aristotle's test: Would you act the same in other similar cases?
4. Insomnia test: Can you sleep soundly at night with your decision?
5. Mother test: Would you act the same if it was your mom?
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Shuddering with SDs
I'm going to muse on and off this weekend, since I'm stuck in the hospital for 48 hours, so I've certainly got time to kill...
I remember being quite good at math when I was a kid. I even participated in math contests in high school, I was that stereotypically nerdy.
But seriously, since I finished those mandatory first year math courses in undergrad, I have barely done anything involving a calculator for years - I don't even do my own taxes!
So, suffice it to say, when I was told I have to have a mandatory undergraduate statistics course done before the end of May this year, I had a small frisson up my spine; I hadn't done any sort of math for over a decade! You'd think a modern, intelligent woman like myself could handle a stupid little undergrad course, but I'd been moaning and groaning in anticipation of horrid, complicated formulas that would make me go cross-eyed and even more myopic. And it's true; I'm still moaning and groaning, though through only the first one-sixth of the course, it hasn't been as horribly awful as I was afraid of. Sure, it's work, but I have to keep reminding myself that if some 19 year old pre-med keener can do this course, then so can I.
I remember being quite good at math when I was a kid. I even participated in math contests in high school, I was that stereotypically nerdy.
But seriously, since I finished those mandatory first year math courses in undergrad, I have barely done anything involving a calculator for years - I don't even do my own taxes!
So, suffice it to say, when I was told I have to have a mandatory undergraduate statistics course done before the end of May this year, I had a small frisson up my spine; I hadn't done any sort of math for over a decade! You'd think a modern, intelligent woman like myself could handle a stupid little undergrad course, but I'd been moaning and groaning in anticipation of horrid, complicated formulas that would make me go cross-eyed and even more myopic. And it's true; I'm still moaning and groaning, though through only the first one-sixth of the course, it hasn't been as horribly awful as I was afraid of. Sure, it's work, but I have to keep reminding myself that if some 19 year old pre-med keener can do this course, then so can I.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Break dividing walls
While I was in the UK, I was considering the deep beauty and mystery of cross cultural missions. Not just in the example of people leaving to serve overseas, but just the deep reconciliation and understanding across gender, across colour, across ethnicity, across socio-economic class and culture.
There is something so heart-achingly beautiful in watching someone struggling to deliberately shed one's own skin and baggage in order to try to put on another one.
Perhaps it's because it isn't seen that often. Perhaps it's because it is far too hard. Perhaps it's because it is far easier, far more comfortable, to love those who are 'like'. Look like me. Talk like me. Eat like me. Dress like me. Walk like me. Socialize like me. Spend money like me. Understand the world like me. Hate the same things like me. Believe things like me.
We have been called to be bridge-builders, to be ambassadors for the ministry of reconciliation, to be those who stand in the gap, to be those who no longer see male nor female, slave nor free, Jew nor Gentile.
Yet we do see. And distinguish. And divide. So the question remains: how to bring that beauty, that mystery, of the power of reconciliation? How to be so humble that those dividers, those walls, are broken, to bring about true community, true Kingdom?
There is something so heart-achingly beautiful in watching someone struggling to deliberately shed one's own skin and baggage in order to try to put on another one.
Perhaps it's because it isn't seen that often. Perhaps it's because it is far too hard. Perhaps it's because it is far easier, far more comfortable, to love those who are 'like'. Look like me. Talk like me. Eat like me. Dress like me. Walk like me. Socialize like me. Spend money like me. Understand the world like me. Hate the same things like me. Believe things like me.
We have been called to be bridge-builders, to be ambassadors for the ministry of reconciliation, to be those who stand in the gap, to be those who no longer see male nor female, slave nor free, Jew nor Gentile.
Yet we do see. And distinguish. And divide. So the question remains: how to bring that beauty, that mystery, of the power of reconciliation? How to be so humble that those dividers, those walls, are broken, to bring about true community, true Kingdom?
England II (but far and away)
Had a lovely time in the UK - wonderful people that I think are some of the awesomest people on earth, lots of good food and fun and hopefully I contributed something useful to boot!
However, I was going to write about my flight home, cause my flight there was vaguely sucky cause I couldn't sleep, and there weren't any good movies on, and our flight took two hours longer than it really should have in the air for various reasons.
At any rate, not only did our flight leave right on time, but the food on the flight was actually yummy! And, which was even more awesome, the chicken tikka actually had an ingredient list on the package, and it was all food - no preservatives, no hydrogenated palm oil - all food! I was so very pleased. And then, there were two awesome movies I'd been wanting to see - It Might Get Loud, a documentary on three skilled and talented electric guitarists (Jack White, Jimmy Page and The Edge - you can take a wild guess who I was looking out for!), as well as Paper Heart (which actually kind of wasn't as great as I was hoping it was going to be). Then, I got to help in a medical non-emergency (thank goodness; I don't know what I would've done with myself if there was a real emergency - maybe pretend I wasn't a doctor or something), which was, I guess, a relatively soft way of getting back to work. The only downside is I didn't receive anything for my pains - an upgrade, a few air miles, something? Oh well.
And then, to boot, our flight landed early! I couldn't believe it; one of the smoothest flights ever (barring being bumped to First Class on my flight to Shanghai - that has got to be my best flight ever, though I spent the vast majority of it sleeping perfectly horizontally, which is why it rocked so much)!
Yay on British Airways! Good service, great flight.
Yup, I spent an entire blog post talking about how great the flight was. But it really was actually an enjoyable flight, and considering I don't actually love the sitting-on-the-plane bit of travelling, that's actually a good thing.
However, I was going to write about my flight home, cause my flight there was vaguely sucky cause I couldn't sleep, and there weren't any good movies on, and our flight took two hours longer than it really should have in the air for various reasons.
At any rate, not only did our flight leave right on time, but the food on the flight was actually yummy! And, which was even more awesome, the chicken tikka actually had an ingredient list on the package, and it was all food - no preservatives, no hydrogenated palm oil - all food! I was so very pleased. And then, there were two awesome movies I'd been wanting to see - It Might Get Loud, a documentary on three skilled and talented electric guitarists (Jack White, Jimmy Page and The Edge - you can take a wild guess who I was looking out for!), as well as Paper Heart (which actually kind of wasn't as great as I was hoping it was going to be). Then, I got to help in a medical non-emergency (thank goodness; I don't know what I would've done with myself if there was a real emergency - maybe pretend I wasn't a doctor or something), which was, I guess, a relatively soft way of getting back to work. The only downside is I didn't receive anything for my pains - an upgrade, a few air miles, something? Oh well.
And then, to boot, our flight landed early! I couldn't believe it; one of the smoothest flights ever (barring being bumped to First Class on my flight to Shanghai - that has got to be my best flight ever, though I spent the vast majority of it sleeping perfectly horizontally, which is why it rocked so much)!
Yay on British Airways! Good service, great flight.
Yup, I spent an entire blog post talking about how great the flight was. But it really was actually an enjoyable flight, and considering I don't actually love the sitting-on-the-plane bit of travelling, that's actually a good thing.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Avatar analysis
OK, OK, I just really have to complain about this movie. It was really visually stunning and really, the movie flew by and hardly seemed like to the 2+hrs that it took to run the thing. Visually stunning, plot quite thin and obvious (c'mon! Unobtanium?!?! You work on a movie for 10 yrs, and that's the best name you can come up with for a new mineral????), but a completely entertaining movie...
At any rate, a few problems, which is probably why I don't watch blockbusters very much, nor action movies and the like...
The complete defiance of the normal laws of physics. I KNOW most actions films do defy physics on a regular basis (which is why shows like Mythbusters do what they do), but come on! Home Tree gets blown up, Na'vi get thrown all over the place, over tree stumps, up in the air, etc, but nooooo, when the evil colonel is getting into one of those machine beasts, despite the ship gradually blowing up, he can casually move around, and easily slips out of the ship as it is exploding. I don't care if you defy physics, as long as you do it consistently.
Also, I am concerned about this vision of the future: pretty much everybody (except for the token brown guy on the science team, the token Latina girl driving a helicopter, and one Sikh dude and a couple of black guys I saw in the recruitment scenes) is white. Is that the plan? Are all the other races going to be pretty much obliterated in the future? All of the main characters were white (well, or blue), and, really, if you're going to develop biotechnology/engineering/computer science-type things, and you have no yellow people on board???? What the??? How is that to be? How could you possible move on a large-scale project like this and have no Asian people at all? I find that incredibly hard to believe.
Yes, yes, suspension of disbelief is needed in purely-for-entertainment-and-flight-into-fantasy-type movies, but still....
At any rate, a few problems, which is probably why I don't watch blockbusters very much, nor action movies and the like...
The complete defiance of the normal laws of physics. I KNOW most actions films do defy physics on a regular basis (which is why shows like Mythbusters do what they do), but come on! Home Tree gets blown up, Na'vi get thrown all over the place, over tree stumps, up in the air, etc, but nooooo, when the evil colonel is getting into one of those machine beasts, despite the ship gradually blowing up, he can casually move around, and easily slips out of the ship as it is exploding. I don't care if you defy physics, as long as you do it consistently.
Also, I am concerned about this vision of the future: pretty much everybody (except for the token brown guy on the science team, the token Latina girl driving a helicopter, and one Sikh dude and a couple of black guys I saw in the recruitment scenes) is white. Is that the plan? Are all the other races going to be pretty much obliterated in the future? All of the main characters were white (well, or blue), and, really, if you're going to develop biotechnology/engineering/computer science-type things, and you have no yellow people on board???? What the??? How is that to be? How could you possible move on a large-scale project like this and have no Asian people at all? I find that incredibly hard to believe.
Yes, yes, suspension of disbelief is needed in purely-for-entertainment-and-flight-into-fantasy-type movies, but still....
Sunday, January 17, 2010
England I
Yup, back in England and back with the crew - it's funny, as desperately cold as I've been perpetually (you'd think I'd have learned my lesson from last year) since I've arrived, there have been some small mercies, especially in the form of a space heater so I can sleep. I was initially appalled at the pictures I was seeing people posting of scads of snow piled up all around, and was thinking, my goodness! I'm leaving Canada so I don't have to deal with scads of snow! However, mercy in the form of melting all the snow overnight yesterday was helpful.
It's also been incredibly awesome to see good friends again in the flesh - though the year has literally flown by, and facebook, Skype and messenger help in reducing the gap - it is indeed good to touch and see friends in real life.
And, as exciting as it has been for me to see friends and watch snow melt, that's pretty much all I have to report on!
It's also been incredibly awesome to see good friends again in the flesh - though the year has literally flown by, and facebook, Skype and messenger help in reducing the gap - it is indeed good to touch and see friends in real life.
And, as exciting as it has been for me to see friends and watch snow melt, that's pretty much all I have to report on!
Monday, January 04, 2010
Choices
I fully recognize that the privilege, options, choices and freedoms I have are a completely foreign notion to most women in the world, not only today, but from ages past to present. It is a massive amount of grace that has been shown to me, way out of proportion of anything I certainly deserve, that's for sure. The very facts that I can walk around freely, can read, am able to vote, can speak to men not of my own clan or family group without repercussion, can negotiate my sexual rights, let alone be able to pursue higher education or have few financial worries, are staggering at best, but also historically unprecedented in the world.
However, in quoting Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility, or, more seriously, to whom much has been given, much will be demanded. This is where the dilemma lies: many great and weighty choices face us, many of which are good, but choosing what is best is very difficult.
In some ways, having no option is very easy - you have no choice in the matter, so you carry on with the load you have to bear. Now, in reality, this is not easy at all. Not easy when you have no choice but to work two minimum wage jobs so you can keep up with rent. Not easy when you are illiterate and are coerced into being trafficked. Not easy when you run away from an abusive home and end up on the streets. Not easy if you have minimal education and can't get out of the poverty trap.
However, for those of us who aren't in that kind of a bind, we face issues that involve Kingdom and Glory. How do I choose best to maximize Kingdom and Glory? What would be best in serving the King? Yes, yes, He can use all the bits we have to offer Him, but I would imagine we would want to offer Him the very best.
And that's the dilemma; wondering what to do next, what's the next step, where's the next path....
However, in quoting Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility, or, more seriously, to whom much has been given, much will be demanded. This is where the dilemma lies: many great and weighty choices face us, many of which are good, but choosing what is best is very difficult.
In some ways, having no option is very easy - you have no choice in the matter, so you carry on with the load you have to bear. Now, in reality, this is not easy at all. Not easy when you have no choice but to work two minimum wage jobs so you can keep up with rent. Not easy when you are illiterate and are coerced into being trafficked. Not easy when you run away from an abusive home and end up on the streets. Not easy if you have minimal education and can't get out of the poverty trap.
However, for those of us who aren't in that kind of a bind, we face issues that involve Kingdom and Glory. How do I choose best to maximize Kingdom and Glory? What would be best in serving the King? Yes, yes, He can use all the bits we have to offer Him, but I would imagine we would want to offer Him the very best.
And that's the dilemma; wondering what to do next, what's the next step, where's the next path....
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
FFT
This world in which we live needs beauty in order not to sink into despair. Beauty, like truth, brings joy to the human heart, and is that precious fruit which resists the erosion of time, which unites generations and enables them to be one in admiration. And all this through the work of your hands... Remember that you are the custodians of beauty in the world.
- Pope Paul VI
- Pope Paul VI
Thursday, December 24, 2009
FFT
God is personal, but never private. If God is not personal, there is little meaning to faith. It merely becomes a philosophy or a set of teachings from religious figures who died long ago. WIthout a personal God, there is no personal dimension to belief. There is no relationship to God, no redemption, salvation, grace, or forgiveness. There is no spiritual transformation without a personal God, and no power that can really change our lives beyond mere self-improvement....
However, that personal God is never private. Restricting God to private space was the great heresy of twentieth-century American evangelicalism. Denying the public God is a denial of biblical faith itself, a rejection of the prophets, the apostles, and Jesus Himself. Exclusively private faith degenerates into a narrow religion, excessively preoccupied with individual and sexual morality while almost oblivious to the biblical demands for public justice. In the end, private faith becomes a merely cultural religion providing the assurance of righteousness for people just like us.
-Jim Wallis
However, that personal God is never private. Restricting God to private space was the great heresy of twentieth-century American evangelicalism. Denying the public God is a denial of biblical faith itself, a rejection of the prophets, the apostles, and Jesus Himself. Exclusively private faith degenerates into a narrow religion, excessively preoccupied with individual and sexual morality while almost oblivious to the biblical demands for public justice. In the end, private faith becomes a merely cultural religion providing the assurance of righteousness for people just like us.
-Jim Wallis
Monday, December 14, 2009
Repentance and relief...
I find it is not very often that Canadians return to the Lord, crying in repentance of the sins that they have committed and the abominations that they have created. I know I'm also one of those; the staggering amount of apathy and indifference that I hold towards personal and corporate sin is flabbergasting.
However, for the past three days, I have been wrestling with corporate sin so deeply infiltrated into our lives, I'm currently emotionally spent. Crying for forgiveness for the church, for the brokenness of many lives, for the mercy of God to withhold His hand in judgement against us... There are great problems in this, including my own hypocrisy - will this repentance last? Will I, indeed, turn from my wicked ways? and my own powerlessness in changing the world.
The numbers are staggering: 800 million people go to bed hungry every night. Half of the world's population live on less than $2.50 a day. The richest 10% of the world (ahem, us) consume 60% of the resources, while the bottom 10% consume only 0.5% - a 100-fold discrepancy. The world spends $780 billion in the legal arms and weapons trade every year, yet only $6 billion would guarantee every single child on this planet could get a basic education - and this amount is still less than what North American women spend on cosmetics every year. The economic distance between the very poorest and the very richest is ever-widening, making it harder and harder for those on the bottom to ever catch up to those of us at the top.
And yet, the North American church is known more for its embrace of the materialistic culture that dominates society. Sure, we are doing work, on small scales, in varying places, to counteract this overwhelming poverty. But does the North American church uniformly, in word and deed, declare "NO!" to continuing in this unjust manner? We are comfortable in our houses, with our cars, with our multiple changes of clothing, with being adequately fed with overly cheap food, with having flush toilets, but, like the cows of Bashan, I fear, judgement will lay on our heads for not acknowledging the devastatingly poor, and continuing in our ways that perpetuate oppression of the poor...
Thank God for His mercy! However, mercy without repentance is rather empty, I think. And I look at this computer screen, realizing that the fact that I own a computer, can pay for internet access, have the electricity to run the darn thing, and have adequate shelter in which to safely use my computer places me leagues ahead of the Majority. And how, with the God who Sees, can we start to turn from our ways and follow Him in true devotion and worship...
However, for the past three days, I have been wrestling with corporate sin so deeply infiltrated into our lives, I'm currently emotionally spent. Crying for forgiveness for the church, for the brokenness of many lives, for the mercy of God to withhold His hand in judgement against us... There are great problems in this, including my own hypocrisy - will this repentance last? Will I, indeed, turn from my wicked ways? and my own powerlessness in changing the world.
The numbers are staggering: 800 million people go to bed hungry every night. Half of the world's population live on less than $2.50 a day. The richest 10% of the world (ahem, us) consume 60% of the resources, while the bottom 10% consume only 0.5% - a 100-fold discrepancy. The world spends $780 billion in the legal arms and weapons trade every year, yet only $6 billion would guarantee every single child on this planet could get a basic education - and this amount is still less than what North American women spend on cosmetics every year. The economic distance between the very poorest and the very richest is ever-widening, making it harder and harder for those on the bottom to ever catch up to those of us at the top.
And yet, the North American church is known more for its embrace of the materialistic culture that dominates society. Sure, we are doing work, on small scales, in varying places, to counteract this overwhelming poverty. But does the North American church uniformly, in word and deed, declare "NO!" to continuing in this unjust manner? We are comfortable in our houses, with our cars, with our multiple changes of clothing, with being adequately fed with overly cheap food, with having flush toilets, but, like the cows of Bashan, I fear, judgement will lay on our heads for not acknowledging the devastatingly poor, and continuing in our ways that perpetuate oppression of the poor...
Thank God for His mercy! However, mercy without repentance is rather empty, I think. And I look at this computer screen, realizing that the fact that I own a computer, can pay for internet access, have the electricity to run the darn thing, and have adequate shelter in which to safely use my computer places me leagues ahead of the Majority. And how, with the God who Sees, can we start to turn from our ways and follow Him in true devotion and worship...
Friday, December 04, 2009
All in a Friday afternoon...
As Advent season is clearly upon us, I am just going to muse a bit of a smorgasbord of things that I was thinking about the other day. I had been listening to the CBC (of course), as they ran a few monologues of people talking about faith. Mainly about losing faith, really. It was particularly poignant in listening to one young man, who, being raised in a very conservative, very rigid, very legalistic Christian family (ahem, reminding me of my own church Family), was eventually driven from it for not conforming to their ideals. Labelled heretic and someone who had lost the way. Which was a bunch of bullshit. He did eventually make it to Bible college, and had many divine encounters with people who did show him there were other ways of worshipping, that he didn't have to wear a straitjacket to reach the divine. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough; he ended his segment by revealing that he simply could not believe the Christian message at the end of the day.
This kind of thing makes me angry; I think it's because I am bull-headed enough to stay with the Family that I've been given, but I know for many, it's a Family that would send them to the funny farm. And that, I find, is incredibly sad. And what's more, I find sometimes that my Family doesn't even realize how it alienates and isolates others; sure, they love people like crazy, and they do their very best, but I can imagine this young man would not have fared much better with us.
This followed me having to kill an hour in a mall, and watching the parade of children going to visit Santa at his castle. As sweet as it was to watch all the excitement of the little ones wanting to meet Santa, you could see that his elves were trying to be as efficient as possible. Loading the children onto Santa, snapping the photos, having a basket for Santa to put letter requests into - all these trappings of consumerism and our 'service' industry all conglomerated together at one time. Big styrofoam castles surrounded by artificial pine trees, candy being given out to the children, indoctrinating our children to ask for more, and more and more... sigh...
This all compounded with a friend of mine who is 'working' overseas, talking about their work with someone from my Family, who basically said that their work was invalid, as they were not pointing to the one and only way to understand Good News. This Family member, I think, probably doesn't understand how, or, more likely, refuses to acknowledge, that Good News changes in different time periods, and different cultures, and different worldviews. But no, I'm afraid that many people in my Family believe that the Good News is completely immutable, that practice and belief must be absolutely uniform, spanning all time and space. If so, I must say, we are already hypocrites, as we fall far short of the original Family's pattern of life together. (Trying to bring this up, however, has always resulted in my being told that I was "wrong"). Suffice it to say, my friend was taken aback, which embarrassed me greatly.
Sigh. All for a King that came to earth and changed history, power, humanity, intimacy, hope, everything...
This kind of thing makes me angry; I think it's because I am bull-headed enough to stay with the Family that I've been given, but I know for many, it's a Family that would send them to the funny farm. And that, I find, is incredibly sad. And what's more, I find sometimes that my Family doesn't even realize how it alienates and isolates others; sure, they love people like crazy, and they do their very best, but I can imagine this young man would not have fared much better with us.
This followed me having to kill an hour in a mall, and watching the parade of children going to visit Santa at his castle. As sweet as it was to watch all the excitement of the little ones wanting to meet Santa, you could see that his elves were trying to be as efficient as possible. Loading the children onto Santa, snapping the photos, having a basket for Santa to put letter requests into - all these trappings of consumerism and our 'service' industry all conglomerated together at one time. Big styrofoam castles surrounded by artificial pine trees, candy being given out to the children, indoctrinating our children to ask for more, and more and more... sigh...
This all compounded with a friend of mine who is 'working' overseas, talking about their work with someone from my Family, who basically said that their work was invalid, as they were not pointing to the one and only way to understand Good News. This Family member, I think, probably doesn't understand how, or, more likely, refuses to acknowledge, that Good News changes in different time periods, and different cultures, and different worldviews. But no, I'm afraid that many people in my Family believe that the Good News is completely immutable, that practice and belief must be absolutely uniform, spanning all time and space. If so, I must say, we are already hypocrites, as we fall far short of the original Family's pattern of life together. (Trying to bring this up, however, has always resulted in my being told that I was "wrong"). Suffice it to say, my friend was taken aback, which embarrassed me greatly.
Sigh. All for a King that came to earth and changed history, power, humanity, intimacy, hope, everything...
Thursday, November 26, 2009
FFT
Usually, I'm a very big non-fan of email forwards, but this one was from a very sweet friend, and was very sweet itself, and indicted me on some of my own attitudes, so I figured I'd repeat it here:
I am thankful:
for the wife, who says it's hot dogs tonight, because she is home with me and not out with someone else.
for the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me and not out at the bars.
for the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes, because it means she is at home, and not on the streets.
for the taxes I pay, because it means I am employed.
for the mess to clean after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
for the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.
for my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.
for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.
for all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means we have freedom of speech.
for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.
for my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.
for the lady behind me in church who sings off key, because it means I can hear.
for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.
for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.
for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive.
and finally, for too many emails, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me. (OK, still not a big fan of email forwards, so I'm not so sure what I think of this one :) )
I am thankful:
for the wife, who says it's hot dogs tonight, because she is home with me and not out with someone else.
for the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me and not out at the bars.
for the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes, because it means she is at home, and not on the streets.
for the taxes I pay, because it means I am employed.
for the mess to clean after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
for the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.
for my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.
for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.
for all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means we have freedom of speech.
for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.
for my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.
for the lady behind me in church who sings off key, because it means I can hear.
for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.
for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.
for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive.
and finally, for too many emails, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me. (OK, still not a big fan of email forwards, so I'm not so sure what I think of this one :) )
Friday, November 20, 2009
FFT
This was actually a song sung at Redeemer by its song-writer this past Sunday:
Citylife
they're building higher
oh the skyline looks so pretty from this rooftop
and the walk I take from home to my train stop is fine with me
music plays
and there are dancers on the stage next to the fountain
and statues that remind us of our fathers
so long ago
in this city, we are walking next to millions
in this city, we are walking next to nations
though the city life inspires me, it's hard to see
my name in lights while others fade away
over the river
there are pieces of the past I knew from textbooks
and we separate the boundaries of our neighbourhoods
they're tearing down
and it's a race to get the real estate investment
'cause the land of opportunity's expensive
oh look around
on the corner of the street next to cathedrals
there's a colony of men who sleep on sidewalks
outside
it's never equal
and the children are too young to know such sadness
but when we 'mourn with those who mourn' it makes a difference
for friends in need
-Sean McClowry
Citylife
they're building higher
oh the skyline looks so pretty from this rooftop
and the walk I take from home to my train stop is fine with me
music plays
and there are dancers on the stage next to the fountain
and statues that remind us of our fathers
so long ago
in this city, we are walking next to millions
in this city, we are walking next to nations
though the city life inspires me, it's hard to see
my name in lights while others fade away
over the river
there are pieces of the past I knew from textbooks
and we separate the boundaries of our neighbourhoods
they're tearing down
and it's a race to get the real estate investment
'cause the land of opportunity's expensive
oh look around
on the corner of the street next to cathedrals
there's a colony of men who sleep on sidewalks
outside
it's never equal
and the children are too young to know such sadness
but when we 'mourn with those who mourn' it makes a difference
for friends in need
-Sean McClowry
Thursday, November 19, 2009
New York III (not really, and kind of irrelevant, and I'm not even there anymore)
One thing I've been thinking about after talking to a friend in Central Park is the sheer diversity of the evangelical church. Diversity to the point of wondering how to start really authentically bridging and unifying the Church.
One of the cases in point: I spent (as previously noted) my Sunday morning worshipping in a black, Baptist, Harlem-based, gospel church. It was everything that you would dream and want it to be: people were really praising God with their bodies through dance, with their voices with singing and call-and-answer worship, the fiery testimonies praising God on how He has radically changed lives, and how He deserves all glory and praise for deliverance - it was awesome! It was liberating to feel free enough to worship, with more than just my mind (which is the usual case in my home church), with dancing, and vocalizing and praying! Suffice it to say that I was one of the rare non-black people in the whole sanctuary, and the only Asian in the entire church building. As emotionally satisfying as that was, I left the church wondering what I had "learned" vs only experienced and witnessed.
Later that day, I went to Redeemer Presbyterian, a famous evangelical church in NYC. It's considered "small" by American church standards; "only" 5000-6000 people attend service (yes, I was told, with a shrug, "only" 5000 people attend this church). In many ways, it reminded me of the form of my own church: nobody moves, everyone just sings the song through once. The liturgy was also very structured and calculated - acclaim God, followed by a time of confession, followed by a time of worshipping God, returning thanks to Him in the form of tithes and offerings, gather around the Word and the exposition of it, benediction of the believers and then dismissal. Very cerebral, not emotional. The sermon was really, really, really great, to be sure, but again - it appealed to the rational in me, the cerebral, the intellect. It brought up points of discussion and further intellectual manoeuvring, but did not bring my heart, with longing, to draw closer to God in praise.
So then I was left with two very different understandings of Sunday worship, both of which fed important parts of my body, spirit and soul, but each of which left parts of me hungry. To bring the two together would almost be bringing two planets together as they are so polarized as to how they understand the nature of God. I even strongly suspect that people from my own home church would clearly state that one of the churches I attended that Sunday is less "valid", or less "worshipful" or retains less of an understanding of God than the other, simply based on their form and perceived "content". Which is sad.
Both are doing their work for the Kingdom, in beautifully different ways. However, how to bring those ends together in unity is something that is perplexing me.
One of the cases in point: I spent (as previously noted) my Sunday morning worshipping in a black, Baptist, Harlem-based, gospel church. It was everything that you would dream and want it to be: people were really praising God with their bodies through dance, with their voices with singing and call-and-answer worship, the fiery testimonies praising God on how He has radically changed lives, and how He deserves all glory and praise for deliverance - it was awesome! It was liberating to feel free enough to worship, with more than just my mind (which is the usual case in my home church), with dancing, and vocalizing and praying! Suffice it to say that I was one of the rare non-black people in the whole sanctuary, and the only Asian in the entire church building. As emotionally satisfying as that was, I left the church wondering what I had "learned" vs only experienced and witnessed.
Later that day, I went to Redeemer Presbyterian, a famous evangelical church in NYC. It's considered "small" by American church standards; "only" 5000-6000 people attend service (yes, I was told, with a shrug, "only" 5000 people attend this church). In many ways, it reminded me of the form of my own church: nobody moves, everyone just sings the song through once. The liturgy was also very structured and calculated - acclaim God, followed by a time of confession, followed by a time of worshipping God, returning thanks to Him in the form of tithes and offerings, gather around the Word and the exposition of it, benediction of the believers and then dismissal. Very cerebral, not emotional. The sermon was really, really, really great, to be sure, but again - it appealed to the rational in me, the cerebral, the intellect. It brought up points of discussion and further intellectual manoeuvring, but did not bring my heart, with longing, to draw closer to God in praise.
So then I was left with two very different understandings of Sunday worship, both of which fed important parts of my body, spirit and soul, but each of which left parts of me hungry. To bring the two together would almost be bringing two planets together as they are so polarized as to how they understand the nature of God. I even strongly suspect that people from my own home church would clearly state that one of the churches I attended that Sunday is less "valid", or less "worshipful" or retains less of an understanding of God than the other, simply based on their form and perceived "content". Which is sad.
Both are doing their work for the Kingdom, in beautifully different ways. However, how to bring those ends together in unity is something that is perplexing me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)