So, today's the kind of day that I wish I could do every day, but unfortunately, I wouldn't get paid for any of it, so would eventually lose my home and then have to live on the streets. Last week was a disaster in terms of fall-out from my "sharing" at church, with all sorts coming out of the woodwork to either share their own heartache about the church and breaking my heart in the meanwhile, or reinforce bad stereotypes about the church and re-traumatizing me again. However, today was great! Correction: it started being great last night at supper!
Last night, a good friend of mine totally blew my brains out with some Hebrew deconstruction of gender, and has given me an opportunity to look at a 'third way' between the polarizing debate currently going on in the West. I still have yet to gather the pieces of brain matter because they exploded so much.
This morning, I had a very constructive meeting with a provincial advocacy group trying to navigate the waters of governance and direction of NGOs. That was followed by a talk that I gave to one of the campus ministries (of which I actually got feedback on, and I think both I and they found it a mutually edifying time) and then meeting with my faculty advisor. Catching up with a long-lost friend for tea in the afternoon, followed by a constructive board meeting where we had a lively debate on the merits of how cozy we should get to corporate sponsors, or not. That was awesome. Stuff that turns my crank. Stuff I could do every day if it was possible....
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
disorientation...
I think the number one reason why I'm getting a bit tired with all my globe-trotting is trying to catch up with everything once I'm back. Being thrown back into work, volunteering, policy, school direction, figuring out an NGO (kind of), as well as all the small detail-y things that happen with life makes it a bit hard to catch your breath!
Case in point: I haven't yet been back for two weeks, and already I've been on call at the hospital, attended a talk by a friend (already blogged about), spoke at another church, sat on a panel for an EFC conference, debriefed with my small group, hosted a dinner party, had a catch up dinner with friends I hadn't seen in over a year (despite living in the same city!), attended two potlucks, let alone be at work! It's tiring.
My to do list is getting smaller, but it's still a bit finicky. I got another thing off my list by "sharing" at my church this morning - if you'd already read the long detailing that I wrote previously about Cape Town, let alone all the stuff I didn't write about, you'd figure it'd be kind of hard to distill some sense of all that chaos (beauty and brokenness all at the same time) into five compressed minutes. I don't think I did that great of a job about it, really. But at least it's done.
Part of my impression that it didn't go over that great is cause very few people asked about it afterwards. So I think it was either very uninteresting, very inaccessible, or very pointless. I can't really figure out which. I think, after the weekend that I've been through, I'm coming to the conclusion that my church will likely never really understand me, which is kind of OK, but not.
It's an even weirder paradox than it was before. Now that I'm one of the "poster children" for the EFC for thinkers of how the Canadian church should move forward in this new millennium, it seems even more disjointed than usual that I feel like nobody "gets" me in my own local family. Throw in another disappointingly strange encounter today, and I'm feeling even more disorientated in where I should be...
Case in point: I haven't yet been back for two weeks, and already I've been on call at the hospital, attended a talk by a friend (already blogged about), spoke at another church, sat on a panel for an EFC conference, debriefed with my small group, hosted a dinner party, had a catch up dinner with friends I hadn't seen in over a year (despite living in the same city!), attended two potlucks, let alone be at work! It's tiring.
My to do list is getting smaller, but it's still a bit finicky. I got another thing off my list by "sharing" at my church this morning - if you'd already read the long detailing that I wrote previously about Cape Town, let alone all the stuff I didn't write about, you'd figure it'd be kind of hard to distill some sense of all that chaos (beauty and brokenness all at the same time) into five compressed minutes. I don't think I did that great of a job about it, really. But at least it's done.
Part of my impression that it didn't go over that great is cause very few people asked about it afterwards. So I think it was either very uninteresting, very inaccessible, or very pointless. I can't really figure out which. I think, after the weekend that I've been through, I'm coming to the conclusion that my church will likely never really understand me, which is kind of OK, but not.
It's an even weirder paradox than it was before. Now that I'm one of the "poster children" for the EFC for thinkers of how the Canadian church should move forward in this new millennium, it seems even more disjointed than usual that I feel like nobody "gets" me in my own local family. Throw in another disappointingly strange encounter today, and I'm feeling even more disorientated in where I should be...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Post-mortem continued
So, the entries are briefer and less detailed, mainly because I don't want to go on and on with what I was thinking, but in brief, here are the last three days:
Day five - I’ve already briefly talked about this day in a much more contemporaneous way previously, so I won’t reiterate here.
Day six
This day’s theme was integrity. It started with a rousing, kicking plenary by a Kenyan pastor challenging us to determine if we really live the life we say we represent with justice, love, equity and integrity. He challenged us to consider that the biggest obstacle to the gospel is not methods, fads, celebrity, trends or strategy, but is actually ourselves and our lack of integrity. Putting out the challenge of putting orthodoxy to orthopraxis, as the church is left with a large credibility gap.
Others followed, noting that we are a scandal in and of ourselves. That our idolatry for power and pride, popularity and success, and wealth and greed that cost God His glory. That we must stop pointing at the sin in the world, and go to clean up our own backyards first. That, in our obsession with proper theology, we must be careful in our arrogance to think we have it set firm - for even at a highly regarded seminary just outside Cape Town was where the theology for apartheid was formulated.
After that, it kind of degenerated. This was the day where they also spoke about the role of women in the church. And where I was torn, yet again. Officially, the Lausanne movement endorses the full and free participation of women to use their gifts in all their diversity, in order to bring about kingdom. However, the rationale that I heard, though I desperately wanted to agree, was weak, at best. It distilled down to a very pragmatic reasoning and preference for passages that help support that view, and, as far as I could tell, was not a deep and anguished wrestling with passages that don’t support that view. To be fair, the men on the other side of the camp also do not wrestle with the passages that do not support their views either, however, the presentations that I heard would NOT fly in my own church against the men who really believe that my gifts and talents are not equivalent to their own. This was a grave disappointment to me. Many men during this congress were greatly encouraging of my gifts and my talents, and dared me to dream further than the narrow boundaries of certain denominations. For certainly, if a church feels that its theology stands or falls based on the status of women, I would argue that church doesn’t actually know what its reason for being actually is.
Day seven
The final day. Patrick’s challenge was one of the most breath-taking (the other ones were actually rather “meh” to “that was really, really lame”). He pointed out how the Western church declares that Asia will finish the task, partially because it certainly could be capable to do so, but also partially because it would like to wash its hands of the hardship and difficulty of going to the truly ‘hard places’. However, he points out that we should banish that thought from our heads. Already, Asian nations are equating political and economic power with the gospel, and the same paradigm of the powerful bringing the gospel to the powerless begins afresh. The same colonialistic, imperialistic, and triumphalism begin anew and Asia will make the same mistakes of treating the gospel as that of the powerful, and not that of the weak, the humble and the small. Again, the echoes of our arrogance and lack of integrity standing in the way of real breakthrough in all of our nations was still resonating through this morning.
For the life of me, I cannot remember what I did that afternoon, but our second Canadian gathering occurred later that day, and here was another example of how redemptive my fellow countrymen and women were for me. It was here that we were able to say, quite honestly, how the majority of the messaging at this congress was disturbing and not the most helpful in navigating the pressing issues of our world today. There were many other wise things that were discussed here, but I don’t think I’m going to discuss them in this kind of forum.
We then headed back for the closing ceremonies, which again, was redemptive and satisfying in its richness. They had adapted a Ugandan liturgy that was beautiful and deep. Lindsay came to deliver the message, and he brought together disparate topics and beautifully highlighted how we, as the church, should see ourselves and what we do in this broken world. I have to commend him, as he reconciled many of the harsh and aggressive messages that were imparted in this congress and reshaped them back into the fold of love, such that, by the end of it, many of us could wholeheartedly agree with what he said, though we struggled much with what we had heard previously in the week. It was satisfying to my soul to be at those closing ceremonies - in that, I felt that at least we had one thing right to say to the world.
And then, that was that. I left Cape Town shortly after that to head on another adventure, and to end up at another conference. I was so tired: emotionally, spiritually, physically by that point, I wouldn’t have minded to be put into a medically-induced coma for a few days. I am still very emotionally and spiritually weary, and I think that brokenness from this experience will last for quite a long time yet. The physical weariness will wear off, but I think the scars borne from attending will remain. There was incredibly loveliness and beauty and vast amounts of sadness and confusion. What is still most astounding to me is that God bothers to loves us at all, and that He chooses to dwell with us and walk with us, when we will not. Ultimately, He is very lovely, and we are very not.
Day five - I’ve already briefly talked about this day in a much more contemporaneous way previously, so I won’t reiterate here.
Day six
This day’s theme was integrity. It started with a rousing, kicking plenary by a Kenyan pastor challenging us to determine if we really live the life we say we represent with justice, love, equity and integrity. He challenged us to consider that the biggest obstacle to the gospel is not methods, fads, celebrity, trends or strategy, but is actually ourselves and our lack of integrity. Putting out the challenge of putting orthodoxy to orthopraxis, as the church is left with a large credibility gap.
Others followed, noting that we are a scandal in and of ourselves. That our idolatry for power and pride, popularity and success, and wealth and greed that cost God His glory. That we must stop pointing at the sin in the world, and go to clean up our own backyards first. That, in our obsession with proper theology, we must be careful in our arrogance to think we have it set firm - for even at a highly regarded seminary just outside Cape Town was where the theology for apartheid was formulated.
After that, it kind of degenerated. This was the day where they also spoke about the role of women in the church. And where I was torn, yet again. Officially, the Lausanne movement endorses the full and free participation of women to use their gifts in all their diversity, in order to bring about kingdom. However, the rationale that I heard, though I desperately wanted to agree, was weak, at best. It distilled down to a very pragmatic reasoning and preference for passages that help support that view, and, as far as I could tell, was not a deep and anguished wrestling with passages that don’t support that view. To be fair, the men on the other side of the camp also do not wrestle with the passages that do not support their views either, however, the presentations that I heard would NOT fly in my own church against the men who really believe that my gifts and talents are not equivalent to their own. This was a grave disappointment to me. Many men during this congress were greatly encouraging of my gifts and my talents, and dared me to dream further than the narrow boundaries of certain denominations. For certainly, if a church feels that its theology stands or falls based on the status of women, I would argue that church doesn’t actually know what its reason for being actually is.
Day seven
The final day. Patrick’s challenge was one of the most breath-taking (the other ones were actually rather “meh” to “that was really, really lame”). He pointed out how the Western church declares that Asia will finish the task, partially because it certainly could be capable to do so, but also partially because it would like to wash its hands of the hardship and difficulty of going to the truly ‘hard places’. However, he points out that we should banish that thought from our heads. Already, Asian nations are equating political and economic power with the gospel, and the same paradigm of the powerful bringing the gospel to the powerless begins afresh. The same colonialistic, imperialistic, and triumphalism begin anew and Asia will make the same mistakes of treating the gospel as that of the powerful, and not that of the weak, the humble and the small. Again, the echoes of our arrogance and lack of integrity standing in the way of real breakthrough in all of our nations was still resonating through this morning.
For the life of me, I cannot remember what I did that afternoon, but our second Canadian gathering occurred later that day, and here was another example of how redemptive my fellow countrymen and women were for me. It was here that we were able to say, quite honestly, how the majority of the messaging at this congress was disturbing and not the most helpful in navigating the pressing issues of our world today. There were many other wise things that were discussed here, but I don’t think I’m going to discuss them in this kind of forum.
We then headed back for the closing ceremonies, which again, was redemptive and satisfying in its richness. They had adapted a Ugandan liturgy that was beautiful and deep. Lindsay came to deliver the message, and he brought together disparate topics and beautifully highlighted how we, as the church, should see ourselves and what we do in this broken world. I have to commend him, as he reconciled many of the harsh and aggressive messages that were imparted in this congress and reshaped them back into the fold of love, such that, by the end of it, many of us could wholeheartedly agree with what he said, though we struggled much with what we had heard previously in the week. It was satisfying to my soul to be at those closing ceremonies - in that, I felt that at least we had one thing right to say to the world.
And then, that was that. I left Cape Town shortly after that to head on another adventure, and to end up at another conference. I was so tired: emotionally, spiritually, physically by that point, I wouldn’t have minded to be put into a medically-induced coma for a few days. I am still very emotionally and spiritually weary, and I think that brokenness from this experience will last for quite a long time yet. The physical weariness will wear off, but I think the scars borne from attending will remain. There was incredibly loveliness and beauty and vast amounts of sadness and confusion. What is still most astounding to me is that God bothers to loves us at all, and that He chooses to dwell with us and walk with us, when we will not. Ultimately, He is very lovely, and we are very not.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Redemptive Canadians
Right, I said that I was going to mention something about how my fellow Canadian delegates were quite crucial in helping me navigate through the journey I had at Lausanne, and how, even now, they continue to help process, narrate and heal through this experience.
I have mentioned earlier how actually spending some time ‘away’ with two brothers for lunch to discuss how upsetting the discourse was, how uneasy we were with the messaging coming from the stage, and how this was not the Jesus or the world that we knew, was really redemptive for me. Another aboriginal brother who helped whisk me away to the townships, to see how apartheid is still very alive and well, to see the brokenness in that country, and yet also, to see such great beauty and how God is still at work, despite our failings and inadequacies.
My fellow Canadian delegates have continued to pour into my life, even now. Tonight, I was at a talk given by another delegate, where he shared his distress, disgust and disorientation from having attended Lausanne, and how his pain at the brokenness of the church is still balanced by the hope and the joy of our Lord being present amongst His people. I’m not sure if the rest of the audience really “got” what he was talking about, but his words echoed many of my own from the last posting that I wrote. Others have asked me to come and speak in other venues in the upcoming weeks. In our national time away, to congregate together we realized that we, as a country, remained in unity in our shame in the discourse happening and the inequities and battles that continue to be fought within the church
It has been so comforting to know that I am not alone in my thinking. I believe that there is greater purpose in the selection of delegates who did attend. Several of the people that I know who were on the nominations list, but were not invited to attend, as lovely as they are, are still people who think in old, stale paradigms that no longer apply to our world today (that being said, I’d have to say most of the evangelicals I know still think in those ways). However, as I’ve discovered over the past few months, that those of us who were, by God’s grace, chosen to attend were kindred spirits in many ways - seeing but dimly that another way is possible, despite the strong-armed, unswerving, completely self-assured dinosaur that continues to stomp down old paths that no longer speak to our culture or our world. They give me hope that another future is possible for the Bride that we love and that we can choose different paths and that Jesus is still going to keep calling us to Himself and to take up our crosses and give up our Pharisaism daily. I can only dare to hope for myself that I am worthy of the calling to which I have been called, and that, as all of creation groans for God’s full redemption, that we hear this cry and strive to see His kingdom come and His will be done on earth.
I have mentioned earlier how actually spending some time ‘away’ with two brothers for lunch to discuss how upsetting the discourse was, how uneasy we were with the messaging coming from the stage, and how this was not the Jesus or the world that we knew, was really redemptive for me. Another aboriginal brother who helped whisk me away to the townships, to see how apartheid is still very alive and well, to see the brokenness in that country, and yet also, to see such great beauty and how God is still at work, despite our failings and inadequacies.
My fellow Canadian delegates have continued to pour into my life, even now. Tonight, I was at a talk given by another delegate, where he shared his distress, disgust and disorientation from having attended Lausanne, and how his pain at the brokenness of the church is still balanced by the hope and the joy of our Lord being present amongst His people. I’m not sure if the rest of the audience really “got” what he was talking about, but his words echoed many of my own from the last posting that I wrote. Others have asked me to come and speak in other venues in the upcoming weeks. In our national time away, to congregate together we realized that we, as a country, remained in unity in our shame in the discourse happening and the inequities and battles that continue to be fought within the church
It has been so comforting to know that I am not alone in my thinking. I believe that there is greater purpose in the selection of delegates who did attend. Several of the people that I know who were on the nominations list, but were not invited to attend, as lovely as they are, are still people who think in old, stale paradigms that no longer apply to our world today (that being said, I’d have to say most of the evangelicals I know still think in those ways). However, as I’ve discovered over the past few months, that those of us who were, by God’s grace, chosen to attend were kindred spirits in many ways - seeing but dimly that another way is possible, despite the strong-armed, unswerving, completely self-assured dinosaur that continues to stomp down old paths that no longer speak to our culture or our world. They give me hope that another future is possible for the Bride that we love and that we can choose different paths and that Jesus is still going to keep calling us to Himself and to take up our crosses and give up our Pharisaism daily. I can only dare to hope for myself that I am worthy of the calling to which I have been called, and that, as all of creation groans for God’s full redemption, that we hear this cry and strive to see His kingdom come and His will be done on earth.
Friday, November 05, 2010
South Africa VIII
Day four
I fully, unashamedly and completely confess that I do not like aspects of Piper’s theology. The man himself is very nice and kind (for the few brief moments I met him), and I’m sure he treats his family, dolphins, bunny rabbits and puppies well. However, his thought around many issues is really problematic. I mean, the regular criticisms of his being a hyper-Calvinist is one thing. But also, his fixed, monocultural, mono-worldview is concerning (particularly more so as he’s supposed to be a missions-minded pastor), with a very Puritanical, very dualistic point of view. In terms of approach and theology, he rides a very narrow horse that gets ridden over and over again. Not to mention his very rigid views on the role of women. This last point is particularly hurtful, as not only because of his near idolization by many people that I know, who take everything he says as near-gospel, or even, dare I say, word of God itself, but also because his views actually completely ignore and deny the reality that there are many equally orthodox views in seeing the world. However, in the country-that-shall-not-be-named, as well as in my own, there certainly is a significant segment of people who follow of a version of Piperanity. This is no fault of the man himself if people choose to idolize him; he’s a very modest, humble guy who I am quite sure would be aghast if people thought of him that way. However, I am quite sure he is also fully aware at how much weight his words carry when he uses them.
For this, I am quite upset (as were many other non-country-that-shall-not-be-named delegates) by his using his Lausanne pulpit to push his own particular brand of evangelicalism as the “right” one.
For some reason, only in the country-that-shall-not-be-named, and, by proximity, in our own, there seems to be a tension between proclamation of the gospel and demonstration of kingdom (‘seems to be’, for, in our Canadian delegation, there is no tension - I will write more about the redemptive purposes of my fellow Canadians in another post), requiring a prioritization, a categorization, and a distinction between the two. This is NOT so anywhere else in the world. Word and deed go together; indeed, they are inseparable, and cannot even be distinguished. The concept that they are separate entities is hard to understand for most of the rest of the church. Providing freedom for captives, healing the broken and proclamation of good news is all one and the same. There is no condition of having one first before the other will be provided. There is no stronger emphasis on proclamation at the expense of transformation. Only here, where we live.
So, when Piper uses his pulpit to proclaim that there is a distinction, that there needs to be higher priority on proclamation over transformation, that, unless one is explicitly laying out the four spiritual laws (which is SO modern and irrelevant to our times), then really, what are you doing with your life? The messaging I received was that: You are non-essential to the kingdom, for you are not doing anything of merit, for you are not standing on street corners with stupid signs saying, “You’re going to burn in hell if you don’t accept Jesus”. Psht; helping the poor? Transforming policy? Defending the weak? Living close to the land? Rejecting to live at your 'expected' standard of living? Governing your nation justly? Removing economic barriers and dismantling unjust structures? But you’re not telling people explicitly about Jesus? Pointless, all of it.
Other speakers this day also spoke about globalization and the gospel, which many attended, thinking it would actually be talking about globalization and how the church should respond. Many left, including myself, quite early on in the session when it became apparent that it was not. The speaker decided to define globalization, not in the regularly accepted notion of economic structures that cause great disparity and pain in the world, but as the increasing ‘worldliness’ that encroaches upon the church that we must fight and defend ourselves against. What??? Many of us left disgusted that the church had no response to the grinding poverty and economic structures that leave half of the world in desperate need and want without providing some succour, some answer, some solutions.
This was certainly a turning point for me here at the Congress; a militant, aggressive advancement of the narrow definition of ‘the gospel’, ignoring the realities and disparities of our world today, and denigrating the work and aspirations I have for transforming Kingdom left me wondering if I even wanted to be an evangelical anymore. It left me wondering whether I was even ‘acceptable’ enough in my theology to be an evangelical, and wondering whether I even belonged in this family anymore.
This was a dark teatime of the soul for me. This particular day made me want to go home, and probably I should go and become Roman Catholic or something, as I clearly didn’t belong in this club. The language of exclusion, of preference of some views over others, of a lack of justice and action was very isolating. The incomprehensibility of reviewing (for three whole days! Half the congress!) over and over again the base beliefs and theology that unite us (uh, hello, I think we can all agree on the uniqueness of Christ, the death and resurrection, the necessity of proclaiming the gospel and making disciples etc etc, and to flog it for half the Congress, when we are all quite sure where our orthodoxy lies was kind of a waste of time), and leaving little room to discuss and respond to pressing issues of our day left many wondering why we were gathering for a global basic theology lesson.
Many of us were grasping with: but how will we respond to the need for true racial reconciliation? To climate change? To global poverty? To HIV/AIDS? To new ways of expressing and understanding the Grand Narrative? To the challenge of orality? These were issues that were sidelined and marginalized.
Sigh. Thinking about it, even now, after some redemptive things that happened after this point, still makes me wonder whether I am an Evangelical. If I am, I am not a proud one. Some point out I actually never was and this should be reassuring to me, and that what should comfort me most is that I actually follow Jesus first. And that is comforting, that I think seriously about the red words in my Bible, even though I fail miserably at following them, and that I think about the OT, and focus much less than the regular Evangelical on Romans to Philemon. Thanks to solid brothers and sisters who helped to listen, who vented alongside with me, and for my fellow countrymen who made me realize I wasn’t actually totally a freak.
I fully, unashamedly and completely confess that I do not like aspects of Piper’s theology. The man himself is very nice and kind (for the few brief moments I met him), and I’m sure he treats his family, dolphins, bunny rabbits and puppies well. However, his thought around many issues is really problematic. I mean, the regular criticisms of his being a hyper-Calvinist is one thing. But also, his fixed, monocultural, mono-worldview is concerning (particularly more so as he’s supposed to be a missions-minded pastor), with a very Puritanical, very dualistic point of view. In terms of approach and theology, he rides a very narrow horse that gets ridden over and over again. Not to mention his very rigid views on the role of women. This last point is particularly hurtful, as not only because of his near idolization by many people that I know, who take everything he says as near-gospel, or even, dare I say, word of God itself, but also because his views actually completely ignore and deny the reality that there are many equally orthodox views in seeing the world. However, in the country-that-shall-not-be-named, as well as in my own, there certainly is a significant segment of people who follow of a version of Piperanity. This is no fault of the man himself if people choose to idolize him; he’s a very modest, humble guy who I am quite sure would be aghast if people thought of him that way. However, I am quite sure he is also fully aware at how much weight his words carry when he uses them.
For this, I am quite upset (as were many other non-country-that-shall-not-be-named delegates) by his using his Lausanne pulpit to push his own particular brand of evangelicalism as the “right” one.
For some reason, only in the country-that-shall-not-be-named, and, by proximity, in our own, there seems to be a tension between proclamation of the gospel and demonstration of kingdom (‘seems to be’, for, in our Canadian delegation, there is no tension - I will write more about the redemptive purposes of my fellow Canadians in another post), requiring a prioritization, a categorization, and a distinction between the two. This is NOT so anywhere else in the world. Word and deed go together; indeed, they are inseparable, and cannot even be distinguished. The concept that they are separate entities is hard to understand for most of the rest of the church. Providing freedom for captives, healing the broken and proclamation of good news is all one and the same. There is no condition of having one first before the other will be provided. There is no stronger emphasis on proclamation at the expense of transformation. Only here, where we live.
So, when Piper uses his pulpit to proclaim that there is a distinction, that there needs to be higher priority on proclamation over transformation, that, unless one is explicitly laying out the four spiritual laws (which is SO modern and irrelevant to our times), then really, what are you doing with your life? The messaging I received was that: You are non-essential to the kingdom, for you are not doing anything of merit, for you are not standing on street corners with stupid signs saying, “You’re going to burn in hell if you don’t accept Jesus”. Psht; helping the poor? Transforming policy? Defending the weak? Living close to the land? Rejecting to live at your 'expected' standard of living? Governing your nation justly? Removing economic barriers and dismantling unjust structures? But you’re not telling people explicitly about Jesus? Pointless, all of it.
Other speakers this day also spoke about globalization and the gospel, which many attended, thinking it would actually be talking about globalization and how the church should respond. Many left, including myself, quite early on in the session when it became apparent that it was not. The speaker decided to define globalization, not in the regularly accepted notion of economic structures that cause great disparity and pain in the world, but as the increasing ‘worldliness’ that encroaches upon the church that we must fight and defend ourselves against. What??? Many of us left disgusted that the church had no response to the grinding poverty and economic structures that leave half of the world in desperate need and want without providing some succour, some answer, some solutions.
This was certainly a turning point for me here at the Congress; a militant, aggressive advancement of the narrow definition of ‘the gospel’, ignoring the realities and disparities of our world today, and denigrating the work and aspirations I have for transforming Kingdom left me wondering if I even wanted to be an evangelical anymore. It left me wondering whether I was even ‘acceptable’ enough in my theology to be an evangelical, and wondering whether I even belonged in this family anymore.
This was a dark teatime of the soul for me. This particular day made me want to go home, and probably I should go and become Roman Catholic or something, as I clearly didn’t belong in this club. The language of exclusion, of preference of some views over others, of a lack of justice and action was very isolating. The incomprehensibility of reviewing (for three whole days! Half the congress!) over and over again the base beliefs and theology that unite us (uh, hello, I think we can all agree on the uniqueness of Christ, the death and resurrection, the necessity of proclaiming the gospel and making disciples etc etc, and to flog it for half the Congress, when we are all quite sure where our orthodoxy lies was kind of a waste of time), and leaving little room to discuss and respond to pressing issues of our day left many wondering why we were gathering for a global basic theology lesson.
Many of us were grasping with: but how will we respond to the need for true racial reconciliation? To climate change? To global poverty? To HIV/AIDS? To new ways of expressing and understanding the Grand Narrative? To the challenge of orality? These were issues that were sidelined and marginalized.
Sigh. Thinking about it, even now, after some redemptive things that happened after this point, still makes me wonder whether I am an Evangelical. If I am, I am not a proud one. Some point out I actually never was and this should be reassuring to me, and that what should comfort me most is that I actually follow Jesus first. And that is comforting, that I think seriously about the red words in my Bible, even though I fail miserably at following them, and that I think about the OT, and focus much less than the regular Evangelical on Romans to Philemon. Thanks to solid brothers and sisters who helped to listen, who vented alongside with me, and for my fellow countrymen who made me realize I wasn’t actually totally a freak.
South Africa VII
This is just quoted verbatim from a brochure that I received re: efforts made in South Africa to deal with child abuse and exploitation here in this country. One good friend of mine and I routinely talk about the discourse in North America that emphasizes rights, but ignores or minimizes our responsibilities to our society. What's particularly excited about the wording in this is that it is from the South African Human Rights Commission. However, in their mandate to protect human rights, they do not neglect citizens' responsibilities to the nation.
Children, empower yourselves - know your rights, accept your responsibilities!
Chapter 2 of our Constitution contains the Bill of Rights which applies to everyone. Some of these rights which apply to children should be exercised responsibly by everyone including children themselves. These rights are:
- A right to family care, love and protection and the responsibility to show love, respect and caring to others, especially the elderly.
- A right to a clean environment and the responsibility to take care of their environment by cleaning the space they live in.
- A right to food and the responsibility not to be wasteful.
- A right to good quality education and the responsibility to learn and respect their teachers and peers.
- A right to quality medical care and the responsibility to take care of themselves and protect themselves from irresponsible exposure to diseases such as HIV/AIDS.
- A right to protection from exploitation and neglect and the responsibility to report abuse and exploitation.
Children, empower yourselves - know your rights, accept your responsibilities!
Chapter 2 of our Constitution contains the Bill of Rights which applies to everyone. Some of these rights which apply to children should be exercised responsibly by everyone including children themselves. These rights are:
- A right to family care, love and protection and the responsibility to show love, respect and caring to others, especially the elderly.
- A right to a clean environment and the responsibility to take care of their environment by cleaning the space they live in.
- A right to food and the responsibility not to be wasteful.
- A right to good quality education and the responsibility to learn and respect their teachers and peers.
- A right to quality medical care and the responsibility to take care of themselves and protect themselves from irresponsible exposure to diseases such as HIV/AIDS.
- A right to protection from exploitation and neglect and the responsibility to report abuse and exploitation.
South Africa VI
Day three
This was a great morning - a really strong challenge to the church that when we claim that God has reconciled the whole world to Himself through Jesus Christ, do we really mean it? Reminders that we all, irrespective of religious lineage, ethnic heritage, or impeccable bloodlines, were all brought near to the King, and we are called to a kingdom together in being peace-beings and peace-makers together. Ruth Padilla, the first woman ever invited to speak as a plenary expository speaker in the Lausanne movement, was incredibly inspiring, and I feel privileged in being able to get to know that family better over the course of the congress. Ruth is no slouch herself, being a leading theologian in Latin American thought. There were, of course and inevitably, men (mainly from the West, and mainly from ahem-the-country-that-shall-not-be-named) who refused to attend her plenary for the sole fact that she was a she.
Thought provoking challenges from a Palestinian Christian, standing alongside a Messianic Israeli, with them sharing about the very real obstacles to genuine reconciliation in their nation, and how the power of the gospel, demonstrated through them, can show that torn land that healing is possible.
Joseph, another dear friend, who spoke so eloquently about our responsibility to remember to free our brothers and sisters, not only from spiritual slavery, but from physical bondage of all sorts and demonstrating that the liberty of the gospel does, in fact, point to a new reality and a new kind of reconciled community.
Antoine, a figure who looms large in the reconciliation efforts in Rwanda, who himself suffered much loss during that country’s genocide in the 1990s, who wondered aloud how where some of the fastest-growing churches are, there the civil wars and the genocide have had some of their most terrifying horrors unleashed. He wondered as to the methods of the West in its visualization of discipleship and mission, if a country such as Rwanda which was 90% Christian, could yet massacre one million of its own people? He pointed to missionaries completely ignoring the social context in which they presented the gospel, building upon already pent-up ethnic hatred within the country to build their church, using converts to their advantage, conspiring with the government to keep their churches running, all adding up to the horrific episode in 1994 when the West turned its back away from a problem it helped create.
Rwanda, however, has come back from the brink, based on godly men and women from their own country, actively working towards reconciliation. Understanding that suffering is inevitable with the gospel. Understanding that woundedness is needed for healing to begin. Understanding that reconciliation, deep and pure and true, is what is needed to truly demonstrate that Christ died for all, not preferentially for some.
Brenda then also gave a prophetic indictment to us all about our huge credibility gap in the evangelical church. This gap is so huge, you can drive a truck right through it, and without credibility, we have no right to speak to truth.
Inspiring morning, and some of the conversations I had with some of these people over the course of the congress helped mitigate and flush out some of our fears of some of the alternative and other messaging that was simultaneously occurring.
The afternoon was a breakout session on the environmental crisis and the gospel. Easy as pie, you’d think; that’s right up my alley. Well, the first half of the afternoon was helpful, in that the panel was predominantly made up of people from the Global South, many of them from island nations who have already seen massive changes in their countries during the lifetimes due to climate change, and many whose nations are at risk of disappearing due to increasing sea levels. However, the second half was an even smaller breakout group. Besides myself, one Dutchman and our of our aboriginal leaders (who isn’t fully a “Westerner” like myself), the rest of the session was made up of people from the developing world. Not a single other person from the West showed up (ahem-country-that-shall-not-be-named), though there was a sea of Indians, South-East Asians, Africans and Latin Americans present. Ironically, it was an American who led the session. By general consensus, it was a shallow ecological theology presented with little benefit to any of us. This was made all the stranger in that the Cape Town Commitment fleshes out creation care quite well (though we did not know that at the time). It left many of us deflated and uninspired, and, frankly, feeling that the country-that-shall-not-be-named really didn’t care very much about the theological and justice issues surrounding climate change affecting the rest of the world. One Nigerian fellow I had dinner with shrugged his shoulders and told me, “Well, what do you expect? They are paying for it.” Many others were shocked at this amount of apathy in light of the country-that-shall-not-be-named in allowing the paradigm to be shaped and managed from their point of view alone.
Certainly, I could fully admit from my side of the border, that in general the Canadian church emulates a lot of what that other nation’s church trends are for the worse, in my opinion. (That being said, there were definitely some heartening things about the Canadian delegation that I’ll mention later).
So, Tuesday was a grand slam outta the park in the morning, but gradually dwindled to less than a base hit by the end of the day. It certainly left me wondering why on earth I was even at this Congress, if the issue for which I was sent was being treated in such a superficial and globally useless manner.
This was a great morning - a really strong challenge to the church that when we claim that God has reconciled the whole world to Himself through Jesus Christ, do we really mean it? Reminders that we all, irrespective of religious lineage, ethnic heritage, or impeccable bloodlines, were all brought near to the King, and we are called to a kingdom together in being peace-beings and peace-makers together. Ruth Padilla, the first woman ever invited to speak as a plenary expository speaker in the Lausanne movement, was incredibly inspiring, and I feel privileged in being able to get to know that family better over the course of the congress. Ruth is no slouch herself, being a leading theologian in Latin American thought. There were, of course and inevitably, men (mainly from the West, and mainly from ahem-the-country-that-shall-not-be-named) who refused to attend her plenary for the sole fact that she was a she.
Thought provoking challenges from a Palestinian Christian, standing alongside a Messianic Israeli, with them sharing about the very real obstacles to genuine reconciliation in their nation, and how the power of the gospel, demonstrated through them, can show that torn land that healing is possible.
Joseph, another dear friend, who spoke so eloquently about our responsibility to remember to free our brothers and sisters, not only from spiritual slavery, but from physical bondage of all sorts and demonstrating that the liberty of the gospel does, in fact, point to a new reality and a new kind of reconciled community.
Antoine, a figure who looms large in the reconciliation efforts in Rwanda, who himself suffered much loss during that country’s genocide in the 1990s, who wondered aloud how where some of the fastest-growing churches are, there the civil wars and the genocide have had some of their most terrifying horrors unleashed. He wondered as to the methods of the West in its visualization of discipleship and mission, if a country such as Rwanda which was 90% Christian, could yet massacre one million of its own people? He pointed to missionaries completely ignoring the social context in which they presented the gospel, building upon already pent-up ethnic hatred within the country to build their church, using converts to their advantage, conspiring with the government to keep their churches running, all adding up to the horrific episode in 1994 when the West turned its back away from a problem it helped create.
Rwanda, however, has come back from the brink, based on godly men and women from their own country, actively working towards reconciliation. Understanding that suffering is inevitable with the gospel. Understanding that woundedness is needed for healing to begin. Understanding that reconciliation, deep and pure and true, is what is needed to truly demonstrate that Christ died for all, not preferentially for some.
Brenda then also gave a prophetic indictment to us all about our huge credibility gap in the evangelical church. This gap is so huge, you can drive a truck right through it, and without credibility, we have no right to speak to truth.
Inspiring morning, and some of the conversations I had with some of these people over the course of the congress helped mitigate and flush out some of our fears of some of the alternative and other messaging that was simultaneously occurring.
The afternoon was a breakout session on the environmental crisis and the gospel. Easy as pie, you’d think; that’s right up my alley. Well, the first half of the afternoon was helpful, in that the panel was predominantly made up of people from the Global South, many of them from island nations who have already seen massive changes in their countries during the lifetimes due to climate change, and many whose nations are at risk of disappearing due to increasing sea levels. However, the second half was an even smaller breakout group. Besides myself, one Dutchman and our of our aboriginal leaders (who isn’t fully a “Westerner” like myself), the rest of the session was made up of people from the developing world. Not a single other person from the West showed up (ahem-country-that-shall-not-be-named), though there was a sea of Indians, South-East Asians, Africans and Latin Americans present. Ironically, it was an American who led the session. By general consensus, it was a shallow ecological theology presented with little benefit to any of us. This was made all the stranger in that the Cape Town Commitment fleshes out creation care quite well (though we did not know that at the time). It left many of us deflated and uninspired, and, frankly, feeling that the country-that-shall-not-be-named really didn’t care very much about the theological and justice issues surrounding climate change affecting the rest of the world. One Nigerian fellow I had dinner with shrugged his shoulders and told me, “Well, what do you expect? They are paying for it.” Many others were shocked at this amount of apathy in light of the country-that-shall-not-be-named in allowing the paradigm to be shaped and managed from their point of view alone.
Certainly, I could fully admit from my side of the border, that in general the Canadian church emulates a lot of what that other nation’s church trends are for the worse, in my opinion. (That being said, there were definitely some heartening things about the Canadian delegation that I’ll mention later).
So, Tuesday was a grand slam outta the park in the morning, but gradually dwindled to less than a base hit by the end of the day. It certainly left me wondering why on earth I was even at this Congress, if the issue for which I was sent was being treated in such a superficial and globally useless manner.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
FFT
This was printed at one of the museums I have visited here in South Africa...
Dear Teacher:
I am a survivor of a concentration camp. My eyes saw what no person should witness: Gas chambers built by learned engineers, infants killed by trained nurses. Women and babies shot and burned by high school and college graduates. So, I am suspicious of education.
My request is:
Help your students become human. Your efforts must never produced learned monsters, skilled psychopaths, educated Eichmanns. Reading, writing and arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children more human.
-Author unknown
Dear Teacher:
I am a survivor of a concentration camp. My eyes saw what no person should witness: Gas chambers built by learned engineers, infants killed by trained nurses. Women and babies shot and burned by high school and college graduates. So, I am suspicious of education.
My request is:
Help your students become human. Your efforts must never produced learned monsters, skilled psychopaths, educated Eichmanns. Reading, writing and arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children more human.
-Author unknown
South Africa V
This is going to be an interlude in my musings re: Lausanne, mainly because my current conference is taking up so much time, that I’m having little time to reflect on my last one!
Today they took us on a short tour of Port Elizabeth, which, honestly, is not a touristy town, and, except for FIFA this year, likely isn’t high on the ‘must go’ destinations in this country.
However, they did bring us to the Red Location museum, found in the middle of one of the townships around Port Elizabeth. In and of itself, it was a highly moving museum. Currently, a huge portion of the museum is dealing with Steve Biko and his life and death. It is quite an astounding piece of work, dealing with the history and life behind the Black Consciousness Movement. There were panels that dealt specifically with Biko’s last few days before his death, his autopsy, and the findings at his inquiries that left me incredibly ashamed and embarrassed at my profession. Physicians throughout history have participated in shameful and inhumane acts against other human beings, though they are supposedly some of the most educated and wise among us. (Great quote on this later).
What I found most striking, however, is how this museum is found in the middle of a township. People had to be displaced in order to make room for the construction of this museum. Around it, they are building archives to store artifacts and documents relating to the apartheid struggle. Yet, all around, this complex of buildings is surrounded by corrugated tin shacks with no running water and no electricity. I spent some time with one elderly gentleman who was displaced during this construction, who worries that he will die before the government will give him compensation. I am sure he cannot help but look at all of this construction and wonder ‘why?’. The irony is further heightened by the fact that there is a reconstructed shack within the museum that you can wander through, to get a ‘real feel’ as to what it is like to live in a township home, when, not even 100 ft away, there are hundreds of them outside.
To be sure, it is very easy to see the specks in other countries’ eyes and miss the logs in our own. However, I have been struck by how ‘apart’ this country still lives. Wherever I have been, I have either seen an overwhelming number of black people, or else an overwhelming number of white people. Nothing suggesting a nice mix/majority black. And this has also been segregated based on the economic status of the neighbourhood I happen to be walking in. I wonder, being called the “Rainbow Nation”, if this is more a reflection of the fact that we draw our rainbows with distinct colour bands, none melting in and melding with the others. Since I’ve arrived here, I have been astounded by the energy of the church here, but I have also felt that there is a profound desire for deep justice to occur. Deep, penetrating, profound justice and reconciliation. But I also feel like, in the context of the wounds that are still quite raw in the country, there is uncertainty where to start with the healing balm.
It has also emphasized to me, again, that despite all of our best intentions and our grandest dreams, we are unable, on our own, to fix the ills of this world. By no means does this excuse us from not struggling and not fighting for good, to say that this is a lost cause and this world is so fallen from sin that it is incapable of grace. But as long as selfishness, greed and pride persist, all the education and policy in the world cannot save us…
Today they took us on a short tour of Port Elizabeth, which, honestly, is not a touristy town, and, except for FIFA this year, likely isn’t high on the ‘must go’ destinations in this country.
However, they did bring us to the Red Location museum, found in the middle of one of the townships around Port Elizabeth. In and of itself, it was a highly moving museum. Currently, a huge portion of the museum is dealing with Steve Biko and his life and death. It is quite an astounding piece of work, dealing with the history and life behind the Black Consciousness Movement. There were panels that dealt specifically with Biko’s last few days before his death, his autopsy, and the findings at his inquiries that left me incredibly ashamed and embarrassed at my profession. Physicians throughout history have participated in shameful and inhumane acts against other human beings, though they are supposedly some of the most educated and wise among us. (Great quote on this later).
What I found most striking, however, is how this museum is found in the middle of a township. People had to be displaced in order to make room for the construction of this museum. Around it, they are building archives to store artifacts and documents relating to the apartheid struggle. Yet, all around, this complex of buildings is surrounded by corrugated tin shacks with no running water and no electricity. I spent some time with one elderly gentleman who was displaced during this construction, who worries that he will die before the government will give him compensation. I am sure he cannot help but look at all of this construction and wonder ‘why?’. The irony is further heightened by the fact that there is a reconstructed shack within the museum that you can wander through, to get a ‘real feel’ as to what it is like to live in a township home, when, not even 100 ft away, there are hundreds of them outside.
To be sure, it is very easy to see the specks in other countries’ eyes and miss the logs in our own. However, I have been struck by how ‘apart’ this country still lives. Wherever I have been, I have either seen an overwhelming number of black people, or else an overwhelming number of white people. Nothing suggesting a nice mix/majority black. And this has also been segregated based on the economic status of the neighbourhood I happen to be walking in. I wonder, being called the “Rainbow Nation”, if this is more a reflection of the fact that we draw our rainbows with distinct colour bands, none melting in and melding with the others. Since I’ve arrived here, I have been astounded by the energy of the church here, but I have also felt that there is a profound desire for deep justice to occur. Deep, penetrating, profound justice and reconciliation. But I also feel like, in the context of the wounds that are still quite raw in the country, there is uncertainty where to start with the healing balm.
It has also emphasized to me, again, that despite all of our best intentions and our grandest dreams, we are unable, on our own, to fix the ills of this world. By no means does this excuse us from not struggling and not fighting for good, to say that this is a lost cause and this world is so fallen from sin that it is incapable of grace. But as long as selfishness, greed and pride persist, all the education and policy in the world cannot save us…
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