Wednesday I'm not in love... in fact, I do care that it's gray...

D'you remember how Garfield had this constant moaning over Mondays (which, in retrospect, seems kind of odd, seeing as he's a cat, and doesn't work)? I am developing this about Wednesdays... wait, 'developing' would be an incorrect thing to say; perpetual presence of dread of Wednesdays is probably more accurate... the bane of my existence, the one morning of the week where I'm not excited about the upcoming day, the monkey on my back, the thorn in my flesh, the anti-raison d'etre...

Asians and Europeans

In earnest discussion with some folks today, trying to explain how my culture affects my faith and its manifestation and realized: Koreans are the Italians of Asia. They are loud, expansive, dynamic, opinionated, effusive and dramatic. One of my Japanese friends then pointed out that her people are the Germans of Asia; quiet, studious, organized. Wanting efficiency and order. Lacking humour. Between the two of us, though, we couldn't quite pinpoint who the Chinese would equate with. To avoid sounding racist, I am going to refrain from pointing out the particular cultural attributes, at least not until someone from that culture can point out a good equivalency...

Circus freak

You know what was very strange for me, thinking back over today? I had spoken to some people this afternoon about how, in their particular presence, I felt like a bit of a circus freak most of the time. It didn't just occur to me till a little while ago that nobody had said in reply something knee-jerk reflex-ish like, "Oh no, you're totally not", or something affirmative like, "You may be a little bit different, but we love you anyways", or something off the cuff like, "Yeah, you are -totally- a freak, you freak". Actually, I didn't actually get anything verbal in response. How strange.... is that normal, to leave someone hanging like that? To leave a statement like that hanging in the air, suspended in motion, leaving one vulnerable and open, and having nothing in response? Something tells me that it's not normal, that it's not the usual and humane response to have... strange how I didn't even notice it until several hours later... I suspect it's because I half-expected no response in the first place...

FFT

What the Doctor Said

He said it doesn't look good
he said it looks bad in fact real bad
he said I counted thirty-two of them on one lung before
I quit counting them
I said I'm glad I wouldn't want to know
about any more being there than that
he said are you a religious man do you kneel down
in forest groves and let yourself ask for help
when you come to a waterfall
mist blowing against your face and arms
do you stop and ask for understanding at those moments
I said not yet but I intend to start today
he said I'm real sorry he said
I wish I had some other kind of news to give you
I said Amen and he said something else
I didn't catch and not knowing what else to do
and not wanting him to have to repeat it
and me to have to fully digest it
I just looked at him
for a minute and he looked back it was then
I jumped up and shook hands with this man who'd just given me
something no one else on earth had ever given me
I may even have thanked him habit being so strong

-Raymond Carver

Bananas for guns...

http://www.thestar.com/article/193592
Sigh... this explains why I am trying very hard not to eat bananas, as convenient, tasty, and easy to make into bread as they are... this is also why I sometimes appear very sanctimonious on issues around food... and why it drives me (bananas, frankly) that people -need- to get bananas for under $0.49/lb...
The sad thing is, it barely made a blip on the stock market... boy, do I have more to say about that soon....

Talking to Americans

So over the past few months, I've made a determination to stop being racist against Americans. I think I've gotten tired of people saying that Americans are a dumb, red-necked, war-mongering, clueless, vacuous, obese, imperialistic peoples. I think it's sad that if we used the kinds of descriptors that we so callously use for Americans against any other peoples, we would easily be labelled as 'racist', but, for some reason, the same does not hold when we talk about our neighbours (can you imagine painting Somalians or Sri Lankans broadly as clueless, ignorant idiots, and developing TV shows to demonstrate that ignorance, as we do here to Americans?).
Now, I don't agree with everything that they do, nor do I agree with all their cultural values either. However, I don't think that that justifies endlessly poking fun at the specks in their eyes, when we've got plenty of logs ourselves, thank you very much....

Life imitating art?

I finally went and bought Vince's new book to read (as I had been hoping all this time that maybe I'd bump into him and get a personally autographed copy... hee hee), and just finished reading it the other night.
Well, wouldn't you know it! I encountered my first cord prolapse last night on call, the night after I had finished reading. Had to jump up and straddle that woman in the bed, hand wedged in to hold up that baby's head, rolling down the hallway on a stretcher, having to transfer with her onto the OR table, and just stuffing my hand in to keep the baby's head back... just like in the book... I thought that was kind of deja vu-ish (though I did think: gosh, at least there's an anesthetist here!)... certainly, by the time I got my hand out of there, I couldn't hold anything properly for about half an hour, but the adrenaline rush of cutting out a healthy baby despite that beats hurtling down a mountain anytime...

Happy International Women's Day

I find it hard to believe that we still need a day to uplift and raise awareness of the plight of women, and I do know that many men complain that there is no reciprocal day for them, but I suspect when the day comes that women no longer have to be slaves, trafficked, prostituted, raped, murdered, kidnapped, forced into poverty, infected with AIDS, left to bring up children alone, oppressed, silenced, tortured, genitally mutilated, cloistered, given off as child brides, afraid to walk the streets at night, labelled as whores or bitches, left defenceless and voiceless, blamed for the crimes committed against them, victimized and held back from the dignified position that they should have as our mothers and our sisters, then, I suppose, there won't be a need for any gender to have a special day anymore.
I must admit, I am quite tired of being labelled a 'feminist' amongst conservative evangelicals for simply believing maybe equality is something to be working towards, that maybe hierarchy just doesn't cut it amongst genders, for hierarchy it is, no matter how you slice it... even reading this makes me laugh, as most of the people I know who aren't con-evs would think it absolutely ludicrous that -I- could even remotely come close to being near the spectrum of feminism...
On the plus side, today I shook the hand of a Nobel Peace Prize nominee.... muchos, muchos gracias, Norma Cruz...

A Birthday Poem

My gosh, I was cleaning up my email inbox, and I had forgotten that my cousin had written this for me for my birthday... it still makes me laugh like stink... I just wanted it posted here for posterity...

Congrats! Happy Birthday! and all the best!
Because you're another year older and closer to death

Is this a day to be happy or a day to be sad?
Well, being another year older isn't that bad.

Gaining experience, being wiser, and growing closer to God
hmmm, don't know what to say next, but "3 peas in a pod"

So when you really think, 28 to 29 is just a small jump..
Just wait 'till you're 30 then you'll feel like a grump.

Thank You. ^__^

-Dennis

P.S. Happy B-day!

FFT

O Church arise, and put your armour on
Hear the call of Christ our Captain
For now the weak can say that they are strong
In the strength that God has given
With shield of faith and belt of truth
We'll stand against the devil's lies
An army bold whose battle-cry is Love
Reaching out to those in darkness

Our call to war - to love the captive soul
But to rage against the captor
And with the sword that makes the wounded whole
We will fight with faith and valour
When faced with trials on every side
We know the outcome is secure
And Christ will have the prize for which He died
An inheritance of nations

Come see the cross where love and mercy meet
As the Son of God is stricken
Then see His foes lie crushed beneath His feet
For the Conqueror has risen
And as the stone is rolled away
And Christ emerges from the grave
This victory march continues till the day
Every eye and heart shall see Him

So Spirit come, put strength in every stride
Give grace for every hurdle
That we may run with faith to win the prize
Of a servant good and faithful
As saints of old still line the way
Retelling triumphs of His grace
We hear their calls and hunger for the day
When with Christ we stand in glory

-K. Getty and S. Townend
(Thanks Ian!)

Every tribe, tongue, every nation

Speaking about community with a good friend almost a year ago now, there are, of course, many obstacles and barriers to make that happen in a viable way. Certainly, I could probably go on about the difficulty there is in finding it, in maintaining and nuturing it, etc.
However, there is greater hope in watching the people of God come together to worship. Even with all our faults, even with all our sins and fumblings. I must say, grooving out to Ugandan singers, vocalizing along with a Jamaican grandmother, and listening with rapt attention to an Indian speaker makes me say, "Wow! Our God is a great and good God!".
In contrast, I do wish the Church here in this corner of the globe would be less ethno-centric, would be more bold, would love more radically, would understand what self-denial really means... I think I can tolerate only so much in dinner parties where the conversation is about where we bought our jeans, or which movies we should go check out, or whether Britney Spears is truly crazy... I can only pray so much for myself as well...

Beauty in taxes

I had to go to Old City Hall the other day. It's funny; there are so many buildings in this city that you could walk by for years, but never actually enter into. It's fairly utilitarian now, but you could tell from the ornate ironwork on the stairwells that it likely once was as beautiful as it is on the outside.
What I could not believe was the waste of money on some of the justice system. Policemen dozing in seats, guarding, I'm not entirely sure what - perhaps their hats (shouldn't they be out catching criminals?)? People waiting hours to get a hearing on some small minor point of the law, losing hours at work and not getting very far. Civil servants (what a big surprise) not doing very much with their workday. Lawyers running in and out of courtrooms, trying to get several small claims going at the same time in different courtrooms.... it was definitely out of my regular sphere, that's for sure.