Blathering on the same theme

(I'm over the "tired of people" thing now). Sorry to harp on the same subject again, but culture and worldview are really profound tethers and blinders with which we see and understand the world. I find it interesting that what one finds sedate and respectable, another would find boring and a snore-fest. Conversely, what one finds funny is also horrifying or vulgar to another. And yet, we would find it easy to accuse the former of having no perspective, that they cannot really 'see' the truth about the situation, whereas the latter needs to adjust their frame of reference to be able to understand the situation 'normally'. Very odd.
It's odd in that it is very much like the old story of the blind men describing the elephant. Yet the situation, and the reality, remains the same, in all cases. One step further, and then one needs to consider the application to faith, really, as we are all blind men, sensing but a glimpse of the elephant, and can we really be able to say with full assurance that we understand it all?

Maybe I want to be a hermit instead...

That's it. I've had it with people. Maybe I do want to be in a box... I've had enough of them for today, that's for sure... maybe I'll change my mind about it tomorrow, but I think I've had a good run of extroversion for a while...

But I want to be Icarus...

I often wonder if our ability to expand our horizons out into the universe inevitably leads to us requiring to regress temporarily at times in order to regroup. What I mean to say is: Is it inevitable that you need to go through times where it's just hard to care anymore about the big wide world and all you can really do is cope with yourself and your little life and your little issues? It's incredibly frustrating to be squished into a little box and forced to cope in there, with folded wings and clipped feathers, when we are all meant to fly freely... it bothers me muchly when individuals want to be boxed in, to have their blinders on, to put their shoulder to the plow and naval-gaze at the furrows, all the while missing the grand vistas all around them, but when I start doing the same, I think I may go mad...

No/low detail orientation...

Now, I'm usually not a big meetings person; I find all that jargon about 'interfacing', 'networking', 'collaborating', etc etc etc very tiring. However, so far this past week, I've been to several different meetings that have been exciting, fresh and invigorating! My planning meeting for the child sexual trafficking conference that is running this weekend was encouraging. Then I had a food advocacy meeting, which always gets me very excited and happy about agriculture and food justice. Then tonight, I've just returned from an IFES appreciation meeting, where, basically, I got to eat dessert and hear about all the wonderful praise items that blossomed out of the various efforts of everyone who came out. Now -that's- the way meetings should be...
That being said, I have one more major one this week... something tells me it's not going to be quite as pretty or as beautiful as the other ones...

C'mon, 'fess up!

OK, I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm really curious as to -who- exactly is reading this on a regular basis... more specifically: Who the heck was reading my blog at 6am this morning for an hour? Show thyselves!!!

The timing's a little -off-

What I find incredible in our day and age, how difficult it is to do the most important things in life. Case in point: I'm trying to meet with someone to debrief about an event that happened two weeks ago, and after much discussion, we both realized we couldn't actually sit together in the same general vicinity for another two. I think that's silly - from what I learned at a faculty development workshop yesterday, feedback should be given in a timely fashion, not a ridiculous four weeks later... certainly, I'm at least half to blame for that pathetic development, as it does take two to tango...

Despite the fact that we're commanded not to...

This past week, I've realized that the best way to not stress out about something is to get stressed out about something else much more imminent and pending. It's very odd, but a big worry I'd been ruminating about for the past few weeks went straight out the window! with this newest one being dumped in my lap. This is actually a good thing, as the new one is actually concrete, real and happening, as opposed to just conjecture...

Picking at the fraying edges...

It's been an incredibly emotionally draining week just past, and it kind of bothers me as there are several "loose ends" or "unresolved conflicts" (actually, I prefer that, as that is exactly what they are) that have not yet been adequately dealt with. I know I'm not the type that needs to have things figured out and tied up before moving onto the next project (ie the STJ types), but it is a bit irritating, having loose bits hanging around all over the place...

A third of my Bible was written by terrorists and murderers

A big concern that I have been thinking about today is just how much does it take to love someone, let alone a whole planet of people? I think it is hard to even begin to imagine having a big enough heart to see that everybody, absolutely everyone, is not beyond redemption, is not beyond hope, is not beyond the beyond. Not just the people I like, or the people in my socio-economic-cultural-racial class, but everyone, from the very great to the very small.
This is a difficult teaching from Jesus, I must say. I think we Jesus-followers have been held back by our lack of love. I'm not sure how we can capture a bigger vision; shoot - I can hardly figure out how to better love the ones that are sitting around me. I sincerely apologize to those who read this, thinking that Christianity is a bunch of crap, 'cause sometimes, when I look at it, I think that too. I can understand why it would be seen that way - I'm still petty and shrill and ridiculous, and don't demonstrate well God's vision for how life was meant to be, and on my part, I apologize. I'm not quite sure how to get over that roadblock, but I do know God's vision is BIG! and His love is lavish. Trying to scope that down, and demonstrate that through me is a daunting task, for I am small, and my love is very limited...

Circumventing the issue....

Perhaps I think about culture too much, but I was discussing with a (non-Asian) friend today about cultural differences in navigating several different sensitive areas in interpersonal relationships. I think what struck me was, as I was describing a situation in dealing with someone 'indirectly', in an Asian sort of way, that it does and can actually work! This is surprising to me, as, banana that I am, I tend more towards the notion that 'direct' methods should work better in a North American context. This also surprised my friend, who thought it was interesting that dealing with the situation in that manner did, indeed, appear to be the more effective way in dealing with it. Amazing the things you learn by talking...

Holistic thoughts...

Sometimes I wonder whether I could diagnostically be labelled with 'tangential thinking'. It's actually quite a good thing that perhaps I don't lecture/teach/preach much, as I'm not entirely sure I would be able to transmit any concise information in an alloted amount of time. I ramble, I pontificate, I veer off on tangents, and forget what my main point was... circuitous thinking, perhaps? I think perhaps I would have made a great Oxford don, with a tweed cardigan and pipe, sitting in a wingback chair, puffing and pontificating away, while undergrads milling at my feet would nod off, wake up, and realize I still hadn't gone very far in my train of thought... or perhaps I would have been shut up in some grand insane asylum since I could never make very much sense...
This all comes up as a so-called friend accused me of 'thinking like a girl' (um, excuse me? How else would I think?), by which he actually meant (I think) that I couldn't think linearly, logically or rationally. This also comes up as someone asked me to talk about a topic that I think would take me several hours to be able to say anything of import or satisfaction to me, but of which I would only have about five or ten minutes to get a point across.
I'd like to imagine that instead of stating that I can't think linearly, it would be better to say that I can think in starbursts, in diffracting sunlight formations, in ripples of water, and in echoes...

A house is not a home...

One of the things that I have wrestled with is the notion of what authentic community actually looks like - I think the longer I think about it, the less sense it makes to me. And then, I get tired of thinking, and temporarily decide it's not even worth fighting for. In discussion with old friends from Germany, I briefly realized community could potentially exist, as tenuous as it may be, despite distance. Or perhaps, it was more that, despite the miles and miles, and the infrequent contact, sometimes one is graced with flickers of light. This is also combined with thought (of course) about the nature of culture and the role that it plays in the structure and form of community.
With all this thinking, and the tangents that flow from this, I tend to lapse into periods where I just can't be bothered... I suppose this is the dilemma between passion and apathy... or perhaps, more accurately, passion without wisdom can't sustain itself??? (darn those Afghanis!)

Fruitcake

I have a few random thoughts running around in my head, but I really do have to mention this one: I think guys, in general, should not describe themselves as fruit. Case in point: just over this weekend, a friend mentioned that he was like a peach - sweet on the inside, but bruises easily. That's just not right. Particularly in the context of explaining why he couldn't go all out in playing volleyball in that he was worried about bruising. Just not right... men just really shouldn't be using analogies that draw attention to their general fruitiness, especially if there is grave concern about their need to go intergalactically to find a girlfriend... :P