Sunday, March 25, 2007

Circus freak

You know what was very strange for me, thinking back over today? I had spoken to some people this afternoon about how, in their particular presence, I felt like a bit of a circus freak most of the time. It didn't just occur to me till a little while ago that nobody had said in reply something knee-jerk reflex-ish like, "Oh no, you're totally not", or something affirmative like, "You may be a little bit different, but we love you anyways", or something off the cuff like, "Yeah, you are -totally- a freak, you freak". Actually, I didn't actually get anything verbal in response. How strange.... is that normal, to leave someone hanging like that? To leave a statement like that hanging in the air, suspended in motion, leaving one vulnerable and open, and having nothing in response? Something tells me that it's not normal, that it's not the usual and humane response to have... strange how I didn't even notice it until several hours later... I suspect it's because I half-expected no response in the first place...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

If all the freaks were in the circus, it'd be a booming industry. And frankly, though I might feel as I watch a performance of Cirque Du Soleil that some of the performers couldn't possibly be human since they are able to sit upon their own heads as they do, even that circus form of strangeness is preferable to some of the truly freaky people you find in public. Even the circus has standards.

But you know, I would suppose that Joseph must have seemed quite the freak in his youth; dreaming about cows eating cows and crops eating crops. How do crops eat crops, exactly? Yet, you would find him a good and godly man. I suppose it really depends on what kind of a freak you are.

"People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger that my best friend was born in a manger?" - dc Talk "Jesus Freak"

Canadi-Ann said...

yup, i totally understand what you're saying. I say stuff that reveals my insecurities and expect my friend's to cover me & my shame.

welll.....then they don't, and i am exposed a second time.